Category Archives: same-sex marriages

I say to Cardinal Marx, “The Holy Spirit calls me to change Ratzinger’s defective ‘dogma’ on homosexuality”

Aaron Milavec 9/14/22

Recently, at the close of the German Synod, Cardinal Marx gave an interview in which he declared: “We don’t want to rewrite dogma, but move the discussion forward” (La Croix 9/13/22).  He was, of course, speaking to the fact that the initiative of the Synod included an appeal to Pope to officially open dialogue and research in favor of offering blessings (rather than curses) to same-sex unions within the Catholic Church.  A vocal minority of bishops unexpectedly spoke out forcefully of the unthinkability of such a proposal since Ratzinger’s ‘dogma’ of homosexuality had already excluded such a proposal in 2003.

In this tense climate, Cardinal Marx made his statement “We don’t want to rewrite dogma.”  I, for one, wish that Cardinal Marx had said, “The Holy Spirit compels us to revisit some areas of Catholic moral teaching that cause severe and unnecessary suffering. . . .  It would be a mistake to categorize these areas as ‘off limits.’  As long as needless suffering continues, our Father in Heaven is concerned; hence, we have no option but to be concerned as well.”

Would Jesus be keen to meet homosexuals?

To such a question, I would have delivered a resounding “NO” if homosexuality was to be associated with the handful of unsavory encounters that I had with gays as a teen.  These early experiences disturbed and repulsed me.  Thus, I would very much doubt that Jesus would have wanted to meet those gays I encountered as a youth growing up in Cleveland, Ohio.

Had my experience of homosexuals been arrested at this point, I would have turned into a gay-basher for the rest of my life.  I might even have joined “concerned citizens” who prowled the back streets of my hometown in hopes of coming upon some unfortunate “queer” who needed to be taught a lesson that s/he would not soon forget. . . .

I thank God, however, that my experiences did not stop at this point and that I was granted three very significant positive experiences of homosexuals that set me on a path to become their advocate rather than their sworn enemy.  Some people never have any significant positive experiences and, as a consequence, they spend the whole of their life locked into some distorted version of homophobia.

A troubled teen asking for help

A teenager (I’ll call him Jim) came to me for help in 1966.  He confessed to me that he was tormented by the idea that he might be “a queer.”  This was a courageous act on his part.  For years, he had been frozen in fear.  I was the first person that he trusted to hear his secret fear.  I told him that teenagers sometimes feel a fleeting sexual attraction to someone of the same sex–but “this usually passes.”  I knew that some psychologists theorized that a domineering mother who fails to emotionally bond with her son can inadvertently inhibit her son from normal bonding with women later in life.  Jim had such a domineering mother.  I’m glad that I didn’t say anything about this to Jim because I have since discovered that such psychological theories are faulty and that the disposition toward same-sex unions appears to be genetically determined and that most boys with domineering mothers do eventually move into a passionate and lasting bonding with a woman later on in life.

An Extended Interview with a Lesbian Couple

My second encounter took place two years later, in 1968, when I was doing graduate  studies in the hotbed of social experimentation in Berkeley, California.  In the context of a course, Human Sexuality, the professor invited a lesbian couple just five years older than me to come in and talk about their experience of growing up, of dating boys, of discovering that they were “abnormal,” and. then, in the course of time, struggling within the unfamiliar lesbian turf that hopefully leads to a deep friendship that turns into a committed union.  I thank God that I had this very positive experience at a time when I was still only mildly hostile towards lesbians.  Here are some of my journal entries that I made at that time:

  1. This ninety-minute encounter persuaded me that most homosexuals are not scratching messages on bathroom walls or answering ads for sexual encounters; it persuaded me that most homosexuals are confused, afraid, and feel very much “out of step” with the rest of their companions which they would describe as “normal” in so far as they embodied the “norm” as far as sexual attraction was concerned.
  2. Prior to this encounter, I was persuaded that a “normal” person could spot a “queer” a mile away. All one had to look for was effeminate attitudes or gestures in boys or the absence of femininity in girls.  But here, with these two women, there was nothing about the way they dressed, moved, or behaved that allowed me to even get a hint that they knew themselves to be lesbians.  They had to tell me, or else I would never have known.  Hence, this encounter happily challenged a popular stereotype that was potentially dangerous and demeaning.
  3. Thirdly, this experience opened up a whole new world that had been hitherto “closed to me.” I was now talking and listening across the boundaries.  I was now hearing how these two women had moved from “trying desperately to fit in”[1] by imitating patterns of flirting and dating exhibited by their friends.  Then, after years of frustration at not being able to develop a deep, emotional bond with a man that would confirm that they were “normal,” they slowly came to the frightening realization that they were irrevocably “queer.”  This destroyed any positive self-image that was left to them.  Now they entered the pit of hell—they hated who they were and hated God for playing such a dirty trick on them.
  4. Fourthly, after many trials and errors, they both “unexpectedly” found each other and, for the first time, they were mutually “surprised” and even “in awe” at encountering another human being who could “understand and cherish them to the very core of their being.” Their mutual love thrived.  Progressively they gained a powerful self-acceptance that kept pace with their mutual self-surrender that exceeded all human understanding.  “My partner’s love for me gave me back my lost love for myself.  It was magical.”
  5. Fifthly, I came to realize that, even given the healing power of true love, this lesbian couple still had occasional disagreements, they sometimes disappointed each other, and they felt pangs of jealousy–the whole host of human experiences that heterosexual partners also encounter.
  6. Sixthly, in the months following, I realized how tragically mistaken it was for me and for the hierarchy of my Church to presume that they were entitled to judge what was lawful before God when it came to the life-style choices of lesbian couples. Having deeply listened to these two women made me feel humble and utterly unequipped to offer them any sound guidance “from God’s side.”

Invitation to a Lesbian Vow Ceremony

I now jump ahead twelve years.  Two women in my parish that were very well known to me (let me call them Martha and Mary) approached me and invited me to join with a dozen others at their home to witness “our vows of permanent friendship.”   They asked me not to publicize this event since it was for them “very private” and they felt that it would only “have the effect of unsettling other members of their faith community.”

My mind raced ahead to the time that Jesus was invited to heal the son/servant of a Roman officer in the occupying army.  Undoubtedly Jesus did not agree with the brutality associated with Roman occupation; yet, since Jewish elders commended him saying, “He is worthy to have you do this for him, for he loves our nation, and he built us our synagogue” (Luke 7:5), he went.  He went not to approve the Roman occupation but to respond to an authentic human need.  He may have received flack for it later; yet, Jesus was accustomed to disapproval and didn’t act to gain the applause of his disciples or of the crowds.

My mind also raced ahead to the time that a menstruating woman came up behind Jesus and touched the tassels of his cloak.  According to the Jewish tradition, menstruation was no light matter.  Leviticus makes it clear that a woman in this condition is absolutely forbidden to circulate in society and prohibited from offering a sacrifice in the temple.  Even for men, any man deliberately having sexual relations with a menstruating woman was delivered over to death (Lev 18:19; 20:18).

Yet, Jesus appears to have regarded menstruation much differently.  Maybe his own parents, Mary and Joseph, already had a private opinion whereby they judged that the needs of others allowed them to override the rule of menstrual impurity.  Mary, for instance, might have visited a sick friend at a time when she was in her period.  She didn’t hesitate for a moment: “Her sick friend needed her” and she was quite confident the “God would have understood.”  In any case, Jesus does not upbraid the woman and use this occasion as a teachable moment to enforce the importance of God’s commandments regarding menstrual impurity.  Unexpectedly, healing power flows from Jesus to the woman.  Jesus does not take credit for this.  Rather, he congratulates the woman saying, “Daughter [of Abraham], your faith [in God] has made you well; go in peace” (Luke 8:48 and par.).  This was not just an ordinary menstrual flow, to be sure.  She had been afflicted with unregulated spotting for the last twelve years.  So, prompted by these thoughts, I accepted the invitation of Martha and Mary.

When I arrived at their home, the couple greeted me warmly.  I met others who were invited.  Most were already known to me.

Their rite was very simple.  They emphasized that they were not thinking of “marriage” but of a “permanent partnership.”  They also mentioned that they were living in dangerous times wherein they could be easily punished for what they were now doing; yet, it seemed to them that it was “vitally necessary to share who they truly were” with a few trusted friends. Accordingly, they joined hands and faced each other and promised an exclusive friendship and fidelity in sickness and in health for the rest of their lives.  They then exchanged rings as “a visible sign” of their permanent partnership.

The unwelcomed condemnations of Cardinal Ratzinger

At the time when these things were taking place in Ohio, Joseph Ratzinger (b. 1927) was being elevated as the Cardinal-Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, by Pope John Paul II in Rome on 25 November 1981.  Ratzinger held this office until 2005 when he was elected as Pope Benedict XVI.  Within his twenty-four years as head of the CDF, Ratzinger, more than any other man in the Church, had full authority to formulate and promulgate a string of four binding statements respecting the theological analysis and pastoral response that was required by the new wave of public homosexuality that was emerging worldwide.

Ratzinger decided not to consult the worldwide bishops in this matter. Nor did he call upon the Pontifical Biblical Commission or the International Theological Commission—the latter being the international group specifically designed to advise the CDF regarding important doctrinal matters. Seemingly Cardinal Ratzinger was not interested in open consultation.  He appeared to be self-sufficient and entirely competent to deal with the biblical and anthropological dimensions of homosexuality.  Overall Ratzinger was trained in systematic theology—developments in biblical and moral theology were largely outside his specialization.

His first publication was the Letter on the pastoral care of homosexual persons (01 Oct. 1986).  His last was the Considerations regarding proposals to give legal recognition to unions between homosexual persons (03 June 2003).  Let me briefly remind my readers of the key proposition made in his 2003 letter:

Proposition: “There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and family.  Marriage is holy, while homosexual acts go against the natural moral law (§4).”

Analysis:  Cardinal Ratzinger here takes an essentialist viewpoint.  For him, every sexual act is permitted only to married couples, and every conjugal act of intercourse must be open to procreation (hence, contraceptives are prohibited).  By contrast homosexual acts have neither the sanction of an exclusive life-long commitment nor the prospect of conceiving a new life.  According to natural law, same-sex partners cannot conceive.  Their sex acts, consequently, are automatically to be classified as “intrinsically disordered and able in no case to be approved.”[2]  Thus, it naturally follows from this that homosexual unions cannot be considered “in any way similar or even remotely analogous” to marriage.

Critique:  Cardinal Ratzinger fails to properly evaluate marital sexuality.  In some marriages, sex functions as a tool for dominating and humiliating of the subordinate partner.  It brings forth bruises and tears of pain from one partner and cries of triumph from the other.  In such instances, the vows of marriage are mocked and trampled upon.  To call this “holy” and “what God intended” would be a farce.  From an essentialist perspective, one never gets to notice that, even in the case of marital sex, things are not always what they ought to be.

On the other hand, what can one say of the union of Martha and Mary (described above)?  Have not these two women mutually accepted each other “as God has designed them”?  Has not their mutual love brought self-acceptance and healing to the injuries and disappointments that have been visited upon them by hateful strangers and enemies?  Does their promise of mutual and faithful love “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part” nor draw down the blessing of God and of those who share their affection?  Cardinal Ratzinger mentions none of these things.  This is a serious defect.  He appears to be blissfully unaware of the experiences of Martha and Mary and, even though he considers himself “the expert” in this field, he is a blind to them and deaf to those who cherish them.

For Cardinal Ratzinger, everything hinges on the assumption that same-sex couples are having sex.  Sex, as Ratzinger relates it, is firmly tied to reproduction.  Ratzinger never explores how, even for heterosexual unions, the vast majority of their sex acts function to consolidate their mutual love and to produce a pleasure bonding that celebrates and enhances their developing intimacy.  If I have found this to be true in my heterosexual love-making, who am I to judge that Martha and Mary are incapable of functioning “in many ways similar and analogous” (and, at times, even superior) to what I have discovered within my heterosexual marriage?  These questions occur to me because of the three earlier experiences that I related above.  Ratzinger, on the other hand, cannot even entertain my questions as pertinent to the discussion at hand.  And why not?  Because he never had the requisite sympathetic encounters with same-sex couples to begin with.

If the only experience I had of homosexuality was ads for sex scratched into the bathroom walls and the public wildness and nudity of gay parades, then I would expect my peers to challenge my competence to write and publish a credible Catholic position paper on the morality of homosexuality.  In the case of Ratzinger, however, he seemingly surrounded himself by yes-men, and there was no one there to save him from the shame of having passed judgment on a group of Catholics that he never knew (and never wanted to know).

Bishop Geoffrey Robinson to the rescue

Bishop Geoffrey Robinson, a retired auxiliary of Sydney, Australia, spoke at the Ways of Love conference on pastoral care with LGBT people (14 Oct 2014, Rome), as follows:

It was God who created a world in which there are both heterosexuals and homosexuals.  This was not a mistake on God’s part that human beings are meant to repair; it is simply an undeniable part of God’s creation. . . . The only sexual acts that are natural to homosexuals are homosexual acts.  This is not a free choice they have made between two things that are equally attractive to them, but something that is deeply embedded in their nature, something they cannot simply cast aside.  Homosexual acts come naturally to them, heterosexual acts do not.[3]

What Bishop Robinson was affirming, therefore, is that Cardinal Ratzinger’s judgment that “homosexual acts go against the natural moral law” only applies to heterosexuals.  God has uniquely designed homosexuals such that “homosexual acts” are natural to them while “heterosexual acts” are repulsive.  Bishop Robinson would therefore say that Cardinal Ratzinger’s analysis is not trustworthy because he makes the categorical error in taking the natural law formulated for heterosexuals and applying it indiscriminatingly to homosexuals and heterosexuals alike.

Oh, how do I wish that Bishop Geoffrey Robinson had been chosen by Cardinal Ratzinger as his personal advisor and critic.  Things could have been so different. . . .

Conclusion

I began with my personal experience because, when everything is said and done, my concrete encounters with homosexuals massively impacts how I regard gays and lesbians within my society and within my Church.  In this, there is no neutral starting point for me or for anyone else.  No matter how many degrees one has earned or how many ordinations that one has experienced, no one can escape their personal experiential base.  Anyone denying this is not sufficiently self-aware and cannot be trusted.

By virtue of my encounters with homosexuals, I can be absolutely certain that Cardinal Ratzinger does not speak for me.  The same goes for most of those bishops and delegates at the German Synod.  Cardinal Ratzinger speaks forcefully to those who have had uneasy or traumatic encounters with homosexuals.  This is why I needed to clarify why Ratzinger mistakenly believes that he had a public duty to preserve the Church and civil society from the inherent evils of going soft on homosexuality.

Ratzinger’s ‘doctrine’ is pernicious because it continues to outlaw the positive experiences that Catholics like myself are having with neighbors and friends who are happy and productive people who thank God for having gifted them with their “special” sexual orientation. I know a mother of four who prays to God every night that at least one of her four children will turn out to be gay, because she feels that she has “a special gift for raising that sort of child.”  I am not ashamed to say that I join my prayer with hers every night.  I look forward to the day when my entire parish would have parents ready to nurture a gay child.  My parish will be ready to sponsor a “Parent Support Group for Special Children” quite soon.  Six months ago, two handsome men presented their adopted male twins for a public baptism on a Sunday.  They were enthusiastically accepted!

So, in the end, I want to say to Cardinal Marx, “If ‘dogma’ serves to protect the tacit homophobia of some of those within the Church, then my calling from God is to expose that ‘dogma’ as a dangerous heresy that dishonors God and his special children.”

[1] To appreciate the full scope of “fitting in” to the dominant heterosexual culture, consider reflecting on “30+ Examples of Heterosexual Privilege in the US”  URL = <http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/01/29-examples-of-heterosexual-privilege>

[2] Ratzinger uses the phrase “intrinsically disordered” to indicate those actions which can never be considered as permissible due to special circumstances.  Ratzinger further judges that “although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin [because it is not freely chosen], it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil [illicit sex]; and thus the inclination [toward unnatural sex] itself must be seen as an objective disorder” (Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, §3).

[3] To fully understand all of Bishop Robinson’s nuances, examples, and explanations, I urge interested persons to read his entire text.  URL= <https://waysoflove.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/bishop-geoffrey-robinson-towards-a-new-understanding-of-lgbt-lives-and-love/>

What our parish does about gay relationships

What our parish does about gay relationships

May 5, 2014

by Fr. Peter Daly

Fr. Peter Daly is a priest in the archdiocese of Washington, D.C., and has been pastor of St. John Vianney parish in Prince Frederick, Md., since 1994.  I am including this dated presentation because it so aptly illustrates “the pastoral art that sees the whole person.”  It also illustraits how a pastor has to be a faithful interpreter of the Lord’s ways and not just a blind follower (of societal and Vatican decrees).

This is the second in a series of columns written in response to Pope Francis’ call for input from the faithful in preparation for the Synod of Bishops on the family set for October. The first column dealt with the annulment process.

Pope Francis has asked our bishops to report to Rome on what is actually happening in the parishes in regard to marriage and family life. Among the many topics to be discussed are “same-sex unions between persons who are, not infrequently, permitted to adopt children.”

I think that our parish is a fairly typical middle-class, mostly white, English-speaking, American parish. I also think it would be fair to say that our approach to same-sex couples, including marriage and adoption, is evolving. One might characterize our approach as public silence and private acceptance.

In public, we are silent about the fact that some of our fellow parishioners are gay, even though some people are aware of their relationships.

In private, we are accepting their relationships so long as we don’t have to acknowledge them.

Such a modus vivendi is not really an ethical resolution to the question. In fact, it is merely a strategy for avoidance.

There seem to be two great divides in my parish over issues facing lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. One divide is generational. The other divide is personal.

The generational divide is the most obvious and clear-cut, but not absolute. Older people are less accepting of LGBT relationships. Younger people see no problem. In fact, younger people often think the church should move beyond mere acceptance to affirmation. The dividing line seems to be about age 50.

This generational divide is radical and serious. For some young people, it determines whether or not they will remain Catholics. One young man left our church over the issue. As the older Catholics die off, the church will find very little acceptance of its current negative position on gay relationships. We will find ourselves culturally marginalized in countries like the United States.

The personal divide is more subtle and harder to quantify. People who know someone in their family or circle of friends who is publicly gay are much more accepting of LGBT people than people who claim they don’t know anyone who is gay. Of course, the fact is, everyone actually does know someone who is gay. They just know that their friend or family member is gay but does not admit it.

Personal experience is important. More and more people are coming out as gay. More and more people will have to accept their relationships. Our younger people nearly always know someone who is out as gay and find it very easy to accept. This is a sea change from a generation ago.

More and more gay relationships are being discussed, even in a conservative community like ours. In the past few years, at least a dozen parents have come to me to tell me that their children are gay. They are supportive of their children. They want to know how I will respond. I always encourage them to accept and love their child.

Two of my friends who go to other parishes left the Catholic church when their children came out. They simply could not accept a church that judged their children to be “intrinsically disordered.” If someone is put in the position of choosing between his or her child and the church, they will obviously and quite rightly choose their child.

The hyperbolic and harsh language of the church will have to change. It is not accurate, and it is not charitable.

Our purpose as a Christian church is to remain faithful to the teaching of Jesus Christ. It is significant that Jesus had nothing to say about gay relationships. If homosexuality had been important to Jesus, he would have said something about it. After all, he told us his views on divorce and adultery and many other ethical issues. But Jesus said nothing about it. Maybe it was not important to him.

[Note: Jesus said nothing about it because no one in his society was aware that some folks had a same-sex orientation. In the society of Jesus’ day, romantic feelings were also unknown. No one was “falling in love” in the same sense that no one was “gay or lesbian.” Men who knew that they were not especially attracted to their wives were able to love and cherish them without imagining that sex was a way of expressing their romantic feelings. In the time, no one thought of sex as expressing romantic feelings. Sex was for making babies–end of story. ~Aaron]

Clearly, the most important thing to Jesus was love. The night before he died, he said to his disciples, “I give you a new commandment, love one another” (John 13:34). Love is the key and the measure of his followers. So long as gay relationships are truly loving and committed, I cannot see how they are intrinsically disordered.

So how do we respond to people in same-sex relationships in our parish?

First, I try to see the whole person.

This is what Pope Francis said he tries to do when he spoke with the Jesuit magazine La Civiltá Cattolica. He tries to see the “whole person” because people cannot be reduced to just one aspect of their lives. Certainly, no one is defined only by their sins. As the pope said, “If they accept the Lord and have good will, who am I to judge them?”

Seeing the whole person has practical consequences in pastoral life.

Our parish motto is “All Are Welcome.” We really mean it. That includes LGBT people, too. We welcome them to the Eucharist if they are Catholics. We baptize their children. We register the children in our activities and programs, just like any child. Welcome means welcome.

I am not the bedroom police. I do not quiz people on their private lives. I do not know who is sleeping with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I do not know who is cheating on a spouse. But one thing I know for sure: One hundred percent of the people who come to Communion at every Mass in the history of the world are sinners; redeemed sinners.

In a conservative parish like mine, the presence of LGBT people is not generally a big issue, but it does exist. We have a few same-sex couples in our parish. At least two couples have been married civilly. They live quietly, devoutly and humbly.

Maryland legalized gay marriage a little over a year ago. So far, it has not caused even so much as ripple in our parish. It simply does not affect us. Sacramental heterosexual marriages are not threatened by the civil law’s recognition of gay marriage. We are much more threatened by no-fault divorce, which came into the law 50 years ago.

It is my view that we should get out of the civil aspects of marriage altogether, just as they do in France and Mexico and many other countries. People who want to be married in the eyes of the law should go to the courthouse. People who want to be married in the eyes of the church should come to us. Church and state should be free to have their own definitions.

Welcoming gay parishioners does have some limits. We do not perform gay marriages. We teach only about sacramental marriage in our religious education classes. We do not host wedding receptions for same-sex weddings.

(Our parish avoids this conflict by limiting our wedding receptions to weddings that take place in our parish church. We are not a hiring hall for weddings.)

Recently, I was asked to bless the home of a gay couple. Judging from the crucifixes and holy pictures, they have a very traditional piety. Apart from the fact that they are gay, it was a pretty Ozzie-and-Harriet relationship.

In the United States, gay marriage is now legal in 17 states and the District of Columbia. As a legal issue, I think the debate is all over but the shouting. There will still be serious disagreements within society, of course. There will even be disagreements within families. Just look at the recent smack down between the Cheney sisters over gay marriage.

Civil society will still have to work out a new modus vivendi on such things as open housing, the wording of school textbooks, legal adoption policies, fringe benefits for spouses, and access to government programs. Even the church will have to adjust. Religious liberty, like all of the rights in the Bill of Rights, is a qualified right, not an absolute right.

But I don’t think the sacramental definition of marriage as taught by the church will change. We will still limit marriage to one man and one woman.

It seems to me that so long as we are free to celebrate our weddings in our own way and live our understanding, we should not be threatened by same-sex marriages. Indeed, we may come to see them for what they really are: a rather conservative movement that pushes the gay community toward sexual restraint and stability. It may cut down on overall promiscuity in society. Surely, that is a good thing.

I have to say frankly that I have changed my view over the past 20 years. Like vice presidents Dick Cheney and Joe Biden, I am evolving. Perhaps the Catholic church should evolve, too.

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Note: Fr. Daly here expresses that notion that change is his normal response to new cultural situations. Had he been trained to see change as a normal response of his church in all periods of church history then he would have pointed to this fact as well. He might have said something like this:

The writings of the Church Fathers and the decrees of local Synods and Ecumenical Councils expanded upon the NT norms precisely because they were aware that the NT had no exhaustive and systematic norms for sexuality. Hence, the bishops had to sort out the inconsistencies of the Bible and to respond to new questions and new situations of life that were never addressed in the Bible or that were addressed but only partially and inadequately. [Click here to read more on this.]

Unfortunately, however, Fr. Daly has been schooled in the notion that Vatican rulings CANNOT BE CHANGED.   Thus, he says this: “I don’t think the sacramental definition of marriage as taught by the church will change.”  On the other hand, he also says this: “The magisterium said that all same-sex acts are “intrinsically disordered” and may never be approved in any way. But that certainly is not my experience as a pastor of souls.”  Thus, Fr. Daly indicated how the present situation creates a crisis for many pastors and people: “Two of my friends who go to other [Protestant] parishes left the Catholic church when their children came out. They simply could not accept a church that judged their children to be ‘intrinsically disordered.'”  Fr. Daly does not mention that some gifted priests are also leaving the RCC because they regard the Vatican’s approach to homosexuality as a cruel and inhuman doctrine.  In some cases, priests are leaving in order to enter into same-sex marriages.  And still more priests are leaving because they have found true love with a woman and want to sacrifice their calling to ministry in order to pursue their calling to marriage.

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When gay marriage passed by referendum in Maryland, our local bishops were notably quiet. Perhaps it was because it passed by a vote of the people and not by a court decision or legislative action. Maybe our bishops are evolving, too.

Most of my parishioners are military or civil servants. They vote Republican. One man, who identifies himself as a tea party Republican, told me that the son of a friend came out to him.

“What did you say to him?” I asked.

“I told him it was OK to be gay. Just don’t become a Democrat.”

For more than 40 years, the language of the magisterium said that all same-sex acts are “intrinsically disordered” and may never be approved in any way. But that certainly is not my experience as a pastor of souls.

Almost a decade ago, I got to know a gay couple in our parish. They had been together 35 years. Both are dead now. Richard was a retired school teacher. George was a retired architect.

When George was dying of cancer, Richard came to see me to ask if I would anoint his friend. Once at their house, I realized they were a couple. Richard was nursing George through his final illness. He had also helped George’s parents.

After George died, Richard came into the parish office to plan the funeral. The rest of the family refused to come, but they did telephone to say, “We don’t want it mentioned that our brother was gay and we don’t want that man mentioned.”

At the funeral, I began the homily by saying, “I want to thank Richard for being such a great friend to George over more than 35 years. Your relationship was the defining relationship of his life and a real sign of love and friendship.”

Richard was grateful. For the first time in 35 years, he started coming back to the church. Three years later, it was Richard who was dying of cancer. I went to see him in the hospital in Delaware. I anointed him and gave him Communion. He asked me to say his funeral Mass, just as I had done for his partner.

Since neither of them was buried in our parish cemetery, I put up a plaque for them on our wall of remembrance, as is our custom. On the plaque, I quoted Sirach 6:14: “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter, he who finds one finds a treasure.”

Their relationship was not perfect, but it was certainly not intrinsically disordered.

[Fr. Peter Daly is a priest in the archdiocese of Washington, D.C., and has been pastor of St. John Vianney parish in Prince Frederick, Md., since 1994.]

The Sins of Abusive Dishonesty

The Sins of Abusive Dishonesty within the Catholic Hierarchy–Five Case Studies

by Aaron Milavec

Case One: Dishonesty regarding Martin Luther

Case Two: Dishonesty Regarding Priestly Celibacy

Case Three: Dishonesty Regarding the Pill

Case Four: Dishonest Advertising in favor of NFP

Case Five: Dishonesty Regarding Gay Sexuality

 

The Catholic hierarchy has a long history of dishonesty hidden in the dark corners of official Catholic moral teachings.  This is especially true in the domain of sexual ethics.  Again and again, decisions have been made by the highest authorities in the Church on the basis of an ideologically driven agenda that makes use of shoddy biblical scholarship and false notions of church history.

Once made, these decisions are imposed from the top down.  The Catholic hierarchy has no vested interest in feedback loops.  No one is responsible for measuring the impact of any given legislation.  Moreover, there is no systemic apparatus whereby the suffering imposed by compliance with a piece of legislation could be taken into account and used intelligently by way of reformulating the original decision so as to reduce “unnecessary suffering.”  Generally, in the face of any opposition, the Catholic hierarchy responds by assuring themselves that the original decision was rock solid and that the suffering associated with implementing seemingly-bad decisions serves as an opportunity to embrace humility and “take up your cross and follow Jesus.”

Case One: Dishonesty regarding Martin Luther

With the declaration of papal infallibility during Vatican I in 1870, many in the Catholic Church thought that there would be no reason to ever again have an ecumenical council since, when it came to deciding what God wanted us to believe and to do, the pope alone was preserved, thanks to the Holy Spirit, from error.

The truth surrounding papal infallibility is much more complex. In the early church, no one ever imagined that Peter was somehow exalted above all the other apostles and that he and his successors, the bishops of Rome, were the divinely ordained managers and decision makers for the universal church. Pope John XXIII himself had no delusions on this point. He deliberately reeducated a group of seminarians by declaring, “I am not infallible.” He knew that there were deep flaws within the Roman Catholic system of governance, but he also knew that he was no match for the deeply entrenched Cardinal Ottaviani, the head of the Holy Office of the Inquisition, who was hell-bent upon keeping everything in place.  So, Pope John XXIII convoked Vatican II. . . .

Protestants, in contrast, believed that no one in the Church was beyond the pale of self-deception and that even the pope was capable of committing errors of judgment and of promoting false notions of what we must do to be saved. And when Protestants want to think of how far from the way of Jesus the pope could take us, they had only to recall the papal decrees that enabled the Friar Johann Tetzel in Germany to collect huge sums of money directed toward the completion of the rebuilding of the church of St Peter’s in Rome. In exchange for their efforts, the pope allowed that the local bishop and Friar Tetzel would receive a handsome collector’s fee.  And, to sweeten the deal for their German benefactors, donors were issued a “plenary indulgence” with a papal seal that guaranteed that, should the donor die that very day, his/her soul would bypass Purgatory and immediately be welcomed by St. Peter into the company of the Saints in heaven.

Fr Martin Luther objected to this sale of papal indulgences. He did not want to believe that the rich who could afford to pay for such indulgences were somehow able to bypass doing the fasting and prolonged prayers that served to wipe away the temporal punishment due to sins whose guilt has already been forgiven in confession. Friar Johann Tetzel, being a fair-minded collector, responded by adjusting the price for a plenary indulgence in accordance with one’s personal income. Nor did Martin Luther want to believe that well-disposed Catholics could purchase a plenary indulgence and then to apply it, not to themselves, but to some beloved father or aunt who neglected fasting and other penances during their lifetime and were destined to spend a prolonged period suffering in the fires of Purgatory. Friar Tetzel, of course, insisted that the pope had the right, as the Vicar of Christ on earth, to apply the treasury of merits accumulated by Jesus and the saints to anyone he deemed worthy. And who would be more worthy than those who contributed to the building of the greatest church on earth, St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome?

Rome, in the end, tried Luther in absentia and proclaimed his teachings as filled with heresies that endangered the eternal welfare of anyone giving heed to his voice and following his example. Support for the building of St. Peter’s Basilica languished and entirely dried up in some parts of Germany while, in other parts, the sale of indulgences reached new highs. In these areas, the authority of the Vicar of Jesus Christ on earth invariably becomes even more absolute. In simple laymen’s terms: ‘The Son of God gave Peter the keys to the kingdom of heaven. He gave no keys whatsoever to that heretic Martin Luther.’

What can one learn from this period of history?

  1. That the papacy has sometimes forced its own parochial interests on the faithful and ruthlessly harassed those who would dare to address their pastoral concerns to those holding papal power.
  2. That the Reformation churches received the benefit of many of the Vatican II reforms four hundred years before Roman Catholics were able to do so.[i]
  3. That Roman Catholic historians and theologians were constrained to vilify Luther and to justify the papal indulgences for over four hundred years. No biography of Luther was permitted to be read by Catholics that had any good things to say about Luther or any bad things to say about Pope Leo X.[ii]

Case Two: Dishonesty Regarding Priestly Celibacy

Paul VI, during the final meeting of Vatican II in 1965, made an extraordinary intervention to forbid any discussion of the rule of priestly celibacy since he had elected to study this issue himself. Accordingly, on 24 June 1967, Paul VI published an encyclical on priestly celibacy known as Sacerdotalis Caelibatus.

Explaining how he arrived at his decision, Paul VI wrote: “We have, over a considerable period of time earnestly implored the enlightenment and assistance of the Holy Spirit and have examined before God opinions and petitions which have come to us from all over the world, notably from many pastors of God’s Church” (sec. 1). To his credit, Paul VI acknowledges having received and prayerfully considered opinions and petitions coming from pastors.[iii] To his discredit, Paul VI failed to consult the bishops by letter. He similarly refused to open this delicate pastoral issue up at both the Vatican Council II and at the tri-annual Synod of Bishops in Rome. Paul VI effectively bypassed the principle of collegiality affirmed at Vatican II and, in its place, he imposed a treatise of his own choosing/making.

To his credit, he did not evoke papal infallibility by way of enforcing this decree.  At times he even hinted that Humanae Vitae  was only a position paper intended to evoke free and open discussion.  At no time did he imply that “the assistance of the Holy Spirit” was given to him alone.   Nonetheless, one finds dozens of online Catholic websites that claim that Humanae Vitae constitutes an infallible and irreversible teaching.   [Hint: Do a google search using “Humanae Vitae was an infallible teaching” to discover for yourself how hotly contentious this issue is to this very day.]

History Regarding the Origins of Priestly Celibacy

Every informed pastor (the Pope included) knows that celibacy was not universally imposed upon the clergy until the Middle Ages, but only very few are aware of the bloody history whereby the papal attacks on clerical marriage were resisted for many generations by pastors and their wives. The origins of clerical celibacy emerged as an unexpected byproduct when eleventh century church reformers tried to deal with problems surrounding the inheritance of properties and of offices by the legitimate sons of clergymen. Reforming popes initially tackled this problem by reducing the number of “sons” fathered by priests. Priests and their wives were initially required to sleep in separate beds. When this approach failed, their wives were required to live in separate houses. Fines were imposed. Priests living with their wives were suspended. Bishops bent upon making pastoral visitations and forcibly separating priests from their lawfully wedded wives were often bombarded by angry parishioners throwing rotten fruit. Wives who became pregnant were to be publicly shunned and, in some instances, priests wanting to advance their careers were forced to abandon their wives and children.

The bishops gathered at the First Lateran Council (1123 CE) were so frustrated by their inability to impose compliance to earlier legislation that they went so far as to declare all sacramental marriages of priests “null and void.” The Council decreed “that marriages already contracted by such persons [priests] must be dissolved, and that the persons [both husbands and their wives] be condemned to do penance.”

In a Church that was endeavoring to sustain the notion that no sacramental marriage could ever be dissolved by anything less than death of one of the spouses, the First Lateran Council’s open hostility toward the sacramental marriages of priests was a shocking (and many would say “ungodly”) departure from its own theology of  the indissolubility of the marriage bond.

There followed three centuries where discovering secret mistresses and identifying illegitimate children became the ongoing concern of most bishops. Only when the laity was finally persuaded to boycott the altars of priests “living in sin” and only when the bishops demanded a permanent vow of celibacy prior to ordination did the campaign for clerical “chastity” finally take hold.

All in all, the whole bloody mess surrounding the imposition of celibacy did not approach anywhere near a universal adherence until the seminary system was instituted following the Council of Trent. In the new seminaries, the sexuality of young boys could be closely monitored and their youthful characters could be informed (some would say traumatized) with a morbid fear of having any contact whatsoever with women outside of the confessional.

This opened up the floodgates for developing novel theologies calculated to foster clerical “virginity.” Gifted preachers promoted this message: “That a priest’s hands ought to be entirely virginal since only then can they worthily touch the body of Christ [at the words of consecration] just as did the Virgin Mary [after Jesus was born in the stable].” It was due to such pietistic theologies during the 17th and 18th centuries that Paul VI was able to invent his own notion of celibacy as recorded in Sacerdotalis Caelibatus.

What Paul VI did not want to tell us about celibacy

Needless to say, Paul VI, in his encyclical, tells us nothing of the pain, anguish, and understandable resistance to imposed celibacy that marked the eleventh to the sixteenth centuries.  In its place, Paul VI gives us an alternative pietistic story of the origins of priestly celibacy.  Paul VI begins with his mistaken impression that Jesus himself freely chose celibacy as an essential character of his own service of his Father when he declared that “there are eunuchs [like myself] who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 19:12).[iv] Paul VI then wants to give us the impression that the link between celibacy and priesthood that Jesus took as his own orientation gradually grew within the church, and, after many generations, priests voluntarily accepted celibacy as an imitation of what Jesus had done.  Furthermore, Paul IV points out that Jesus saw his celibacy as an eschatological sign of the life that everyone would one day enjoy in heaven for “in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage” (Mt 22:30). The celibacy of the priest, consequently, was heralded in Sacerdotalis Caelibatus as the proleptic “presence on earth of the final stages of salvation.” [v]

The question that needs to be posed here is whether Paul VI was blissfully ignorant of the understandable resistance to imposed celibacy that marked the eleventh to the sixteenth centuries.  If he was, then we might want to excuse him for telling us a pious fable of how priestly celibacy emerged triumphant because priests wanted to imitate Jesus, their high priest.  But isn’t there something that Paul VI fails to acknowledge?  Here are some thoughts that Paul VI leaves out of his encyclical:

  1. According to the Gospels, Jesus never mentions celibacy when he chooses any of his disciples. Peter, who is clearly recognized as a married man, receives no admonition to separate himself from his wife.
  2. Paul, it would be remembered, prizes his own celibacy, but at no time does he state or imply that this brings him closer to Jesus or that this is part of his “priestly” calling. On a pragmatic level, Paul was able to move around freely because he had no family.  Thus, he recommends celibacy for all Christians because this would give them greater freedom to love God without being distracted and held back by a spouse.
  3. The Letter to the Hebrews is the only place in the NT where Jesus is identified as a high priest. According to this text, however, Jesus practices a new kind of priest who offers a new kind of sacrifice: “Behold, I have come to do your will, O Lord.”  At no time is celibacy mentioned.
  4. When it comes time to appoint bishops, “Paul” in 1 Tim 3:2 says that “a bishop must be above reproach, married only once [a one-woman man]” and, in Tit 1:7, we read that a presbyter should also be “someone who is blameless, married only once, whose children are believers.”

Instead of promoting celibacy, therefore, the late apostolic tradition clearly moves in the opposite direction by requiring that bishops and presbyters have a wife and children. Why so? For this reason: “For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how can he be expected to take care of God’s church?” (1 Tim 3:5).

The embarrassing fact is that Sacerdotalis Caelibatus is entirely silent regarding the above evidence against priestly celibacy found in the Gospels and the letters of Paul.  Does this mean that Paul VI failed to notice these things in the sacred Scriptures?  Or, did he notice these things but deliberately omitted to mention them because they threatened to collapse his argument in favor of priestly celibacy?  If Paul VI failed to notice these things, then his competence as a biblical scholar has to be questioned.  If Paul VI noticed these things but deliberately wanted us not to notice them, then his honesty as a scholar and teacher has to be questioned.[vi]

In sum, Sacerdotalis Caelibatus is tainted with biblical inadequacies and gross deceptions.

The falsification of the origins of priestly celibacy

Likewise, Sacerdotalis Caelibatus gives us inaccurate perceptions of church history.  Priests loved their wives and their marriages were held in honor until the 11th century when the bishops decided to systematically undercut both of these values.  This is not a pretty picture.  But it is an essential chapter in the origins of priestly celibacy.

Why did biblical scholars and church historians not object to Sacerdotalis Caelibatus during the past fifty years?  Did they fail to notice the deficiencies?  If so, they were plagued with the same incompetence as Paul VI.  The more probable explanation is that they knew very well just how flawed Sacerdotalis Caelibatus was but were afraid to speak their minds because they were afraid to speak their truth to power.  A few did speak out and did publish their findings.  Edward Schillbeeckx, Clerical Celibacy Under Fire (1968) and Garry Wills, Papal Sin: Structures of Deceit (2000) & Why Priests?: A Failed Tradition (2013) are two brave and noteworthy exceptions.

How Sex Is Understood Differently Today

In developed countries, the negative stigma attached to sexuality even in the case of marriage has been largely dissipated. Sex is no longer registered as surrender to concupiscence or as an impediment to holiness but is widely seen as a sign and seal of love. Men no longer use their wives to relieve their sexual urges and to produce their children; rather, the act of sexual union is now commonly referred to as “love making.” As such, love making is a sacramental sign that communicates and celebrates the intimacy, transparency, and mutual self-surrender between two persons.

Thus, among my seminary students, many of them confided to me that they experienced an acute personal struggle between their calling to priesthood and their calling to intimacy. “What kind of God,” one seminarian asked, “would call me to be a celibate priest while confounding me with an equally strong calling to be a loving husband and father?” This is the question that Paul VI did not know how to handle.  This is the question that most bishops today cannot begin to  an answer.

Archbishop Pilarczyk, speaking at an ordination, said that it was unthinkable to imagine that God was not calling sufficient men to supply the church with all the ordained ministers its needs.  “The problem is with those who receive this call.  In today’s culture, young men are selfish; hence, they are unwilling, like the rich young man, to give away their riches so as to follow Jesus.”

There is some truth in what my Archbishop told me, but his small truth should not be used to cover up a greater truth, namely, that celibacy can no longer be seen as a necessary step for anyone who wants to love and to serve God with his whole heart.  Just the opposite.  Only someone who is in love with life, with women, and with children can be expected to know the love of  “our Father who is in heaven.” Intimacy, self-examination, and self-improvement can be achieved today more easily and more naturally by the self-surrender of a man to a woman.[vii]  The joys of sex are not meant to be stifled or postponed; rather, they are meant to be expressed and enjoyed and amplified in the blessed freedom and dignity that two committed lovers offer to each other.

I myself tried celibacy for fifteen years.  I allowed myself to believe all the pietistic theology that named this as “a higher calling.” But, in the end, the hunger for intimacy won my heart.  And, because of this, I said to my friends, “God called me to surrender my sexuality in religious life, and the same God later called me to follow my yearning for intimacy outside of religious life.”

Knowing this reveals to me a secret that is concealed from Archbishop Pilarczyk.  Intimacy is “the higher calling” which more strongly attracts sensitive young men who, in the last generation, would have chosen celibacy.  Sacerdotalis Caelibatus, unfortunately was totally unable to answer the central question of my seminarian: “What kind of God would call me to be a celibate priest while confounding me with an equally strong calling to be a loving husband and father?” The true answer, as I see it, is that it is not God who requires celibacy of the priest; rather, it is those bishops who, due to their lack of vision and the lack of empathy[viii], prefer to follow the dishonest scholarship of Paul VI rather than to bring the church back to its foundational practice during the first ten centuries.

Read the tirade at the end of Sacerdotalis Caelibatus where Paul VI coldly brands those priests who sent in their letters asking to be dispensed from celibacy as “traitors” to God and to the Church.  He challenges these “unfaithful” priests to pray without ceasing that God might rekindle their love of chastity.  It never occurs to Paul VI that their appeals might be the urgent voice of God calling to Paul VI to end their suffering by allowing at least some worthy priests to marry.

With the renewal of the Church following Vatican II, tens of thousands of priests had anticipated a relaxation of the rule of celibacy.[ix] The adamant position taken by Paul VI in his encyclical, however, killed any hope for compassionate change. Many Spirit-filled priests, facing a crisis of conscience between their call to ministry and their call to marriage,[x] decided to apply for laicization because there was no other option open to them. All told, 200,000 priests worldwide left their ministry over a period of ten years in order to marry.  Had Paul VI relented, we would have easily moved into having married and unmarried clergy living and working side-by-side.  But Paul VI killed this prospect.  As a result, those who stayed called for more collegiality and more discussion on this matter. In 1970, nine German theologians, including Joseph Ratzinger (later Pope Benedict XVI), signed a letter publically calling for a fresh discussion of the rule of celibacy.

In 1971, an open discussion on obligatory priestly celibacy spontaneously erupted during the Synod of Bishops that was devoted to the growing problems confronting priests. After days of deliberation, a vote was taken on a proposal for ordaining married men “if the needs of the faithful warranted it and the pope approved.” The proposal was defeated by a vote of 107 to 87. If the curial bishops had been removed from the voting, then the vote of the bishops-pastors would have carried the day. Nonetheless, when Paul VI closed the Synod, he said to those assembled, “From your discussions, it emerges that the bishops from the entire Catholic world want to keep integrally this absolute gift [of celibacy] by which the priest consecrates himself to God.” This, of course, was not quite the truth. He should have said, “From your discussions, it emerges that more than half of the bishops from the entire Catholic world favor returning to the earlier practice of ordaining married men while the curial bishops here in the Vatican are almost unanimously opposed to this course of action.” Here again one can gauge how Paul VI manipulated the results of the Synod in order to maintain the illusion that clerical celibacy was universally approved by bishops worldwide.  Here again dishonesty and authoritarianism prevailed.

When ministers within Anglican and Lutheran denominations were welcomed into the Catholic communion, it was particularly difficult for long-suffering priests to notice how easily Rome was able to relax the rule of celibacy for these Protestant pastors who were escaping churches that endorsed the ordination of women. I have frequently heard bitterness expressed by older priests on this matter. “The Pope spits on our long-suffering appeals to allow some of us to marry.  But then these Protestants arrive, and immediately they are ordained as priests while keeping their wives.”  Another priest noted, “Look how easy it would be for Rome to bend the rules and to introduce married priests into our parishes.” This caused and continues to cause an enormous amount of personal suffering[xi] for priests and for those who are close to them. The bishop who said, “I doubt whether the Lord would be pleased with our loneliness,” may have been saying what so many others knew in their heart but were afraid to reveal.

Case Three: Dishonesty Regarding the Pill

The birth control pill was first released in 1960. Initially no one could say for sure whether Catholic couples could use the pill by way of deciding when they wanted to conceive and when they wanted to prevent conception. Catholics had already become familiar with the menstrual cycle and they were aware that there was a period of five to eight days in the middle of each cycle when the body of the woman was naturally fertile. Outside of these times, the woman was infertile and sexual coupling never resulted in fertilizing an egg.

The birth control pill was “natural” in so far as it adjusted the hormonal levels in the woman’s body so as to produce conditions in her body that mimic the situation when the woman is naturally infertile.[xii] For eight years, Catholics unsure about the morality of the birth control pill consulted with their priests in the confessional.[xiii] Many priests gave them permission to use the pill. Others discouraged them from doing so. Moral theologians were divided on the issue, thus there was an eight year period when the faithful and their priests had no definite or unanimous judgment regarding the pill. Every Catholic was permitted to follow her own conscience.

This practice was abruptly halted on 25 July 1968 when Paul VI published Humanae Vitae. This papal encyclical was another instance wherein Paul VI  bypassed collegiality and subsidiarity.  In this case, however, the dishonesty of Paul VI is even more grievous because when the collegial process set in motion by John XXIII failed to return the response that Paul VI expected, he scuttled their report and set out to publish an answer written by an outsider. Let us skim over the facts of this case:

Pope John XXIII received many inquiries regarding the morality of the pill. Accordingly, in 1963, he established a commission of six European non-theologians to study the issue of birth control in the face of an exponential growth in the human population.

After John’s death later in 1963, Pope Paul VI added theologians to the commission and over three years expanded it to 72 members from five continents.  This included 16 theologians, 13 physicians, and 5 women. Meanwhile Paul VI added an executive committee of 16 bishops, including seven cardinals.

The Pontifical Birth Control Commission produced its report in 1966.  An impressive 90% of the voting members agreed that “artificial birth control was not intrinsically evil” and that Catholic “couples should be allowed to decide for themselves” what methods were to be employed by way of exercising responsible parenthood in a world where overpopulation presented a growing dangers. According to the Commission’s final report, use of the contraceptive pill could be regarded as an extension of the natural infertility that was divinely ordained as a providential part of the menstrual cycle.[xiv]

The members of the Commission were forced to take an oath of silence, so, even during the time of Vatican II, few people knew who was on the Commission and what sort of discussions/decisions the Commission was taking. For two years after delivering their final report, the members themselves were patiently waiting upon Pope Paul VI to communicate their findings to the world.  Most of them were surprised and shocked when Paul VI completely rejected the Commission’s recommendations on the grounds that the decision of the seventy-two member commission “had not been unanimous.”  Needless to say, no one can rightly expect that 72 persons discussing a hotly contended issue could ever arrive at a “unanimous decision.”  Thus, Paul VI created a flimsy excuse that allowed him to scuttle the Commission’s report.

Some would argue that those in authority always retain the right to reject an advisory report when it goes against their personal judgments.  To do so, however, is risky because a truly wise man has to be always ready to learn from his trusted advisors.  For him to shun them all and then to absolutize his personal opinion without even mentioning the weight of evidence against him is both reckless and dishonest.  Only in authoritarian institutions can those in authority get away scott-free with this manner of acting.

In Humanae Vitae, Paul VI mandated that the use of the pill could not be authorized under any circumstances because, following the analysis of Pius XI in Casti Connubii (1930), every act of sexuality had to be open to its natural procreative function. Thus abstinence and what would later be called “natural family planning” (NFP) became the only morally permissible means whereby Catholic couples were permitted to regulate their reproductive capacity so as to safeguard the future.

The absoluteness of the Pope’s moral judgments here was confusing.  At first he affirmed Vatican II when it declared that “it is the married couples themselves who must in the last analysis arrive at these judgments” (Gaudium et Spes § 50) and then he makes an about face by declaring that “the married are not free to act as they choose in the service of transmitting life” (Humanae Vitae § 10).[xv]

The deposit of revelation says nothing about “the pill”; hence, moral guidance in this realm had to rely upon general moral principles and the immediate and direct experience of Catholic couples.  Since Paul VI had no experience with sexual love and no experience with NFP, it was incumbent upon him to learn about these things indirectly by sympathetically entering into the experience of married couples?

Three Thousand Letters from the CFM

Patricia Crowley, a lay member of the Birth Control Commission, had given him a selection of letters from members of the Catholic Family Movement around the world tied together by a blue ribbon. The Crowleys had gathered replies from three thousand members of the Christian Family Movement living in eighteen countries. 43% of the couples using NFP said they found it helpful in spacing their children. On the other hand, 78% “claimed that it had also harmed their relationship due to tension, loss of spontaneity, fear of pregnancy, etc.” (90). As an example, a wife who conceived and gave birth to seven children during her fourteen years of marriage writes this chilling and brutally honest account of her experience with NFP:

The slightest upset, mental or physical, appears to change the cycle and thereby renders this method of family planning useless. Our marriage problem is not financial. . . .  But my husband has a terrible weakness when it comes to self-control in sex and unless his demands are met in every way when he feels this way, he is a very dangerous man to me and my daughters. Apart from these times he is completely normal and tries in every way he knows, such as morning Mass, sacraments, prayers, etc., to accumulate grace [self-restraint]” (91).

Other letters detailed the hardships and frustrations associated with irregular menstrual cycles and with the unplanned and unintended pregnancies that resulted from NFP.[xvi] Was it appropriate for Paul VI to ignore these testimonies of human suffering and to impose, using the weight of his office, a universally binding judgment that turned a blind eye to the pain and frustration of so many faithful Catholic couples who tried to make NFP work for them?

If Paul VI had been transparent and collegial, he could have said that NFP was “the better way,” even “the best way.” But, as many theologians have pointed out, he had no grounds whatsoever whereby he could declare it to be the ONLY WAY?

From the very start, the absolute rejection of modern methods of birth control was met with stiff opposition among Catholics—both on the practical grounds of their own experience and also on the theoretical grounds that it enforced outmoded norms of human sexuality.[xvii] The Winnipeg Statement represents the strongest episcopal opposition. “The purge” unleashed against dissenting priests and theologians in the USA was without precedent.

The noted American moral theologian, Richard McCormick, SJ, observes that the “coercive ecclesial atmosphere” surrounding the issue of birth control not only heaped irreversible harm upon hundreds of thousands of Catholic couples, it had the effect of damaging the credibility of the bishops themselves as reliable guides:

By “coercive ecclesial atmosphere” I refer to a gathering of symptoms familiar to all. Bishops are appointed by ideological conformity. Theologians and bishops are disciplined [for nonconformity]. Obedience is demanded to all teachings. Judicial processes fail the criteria of due process. Consultation is secret and highly selective, [and includes] only those qualifying who agree with a predetermined position. . . .

It was contended that the Church could not modify its teaching on birth regulation because that teaching had been proposed unanimously as certain by the bishops around the world with the pope over a long period of time. To this point Cardinal Suenens replied:

“We have heard arguments based on ‘what the bishops all taught for decades.’ Well, the bishops did defend the classical position. But it was one imposed on them by authority. The bishops didn’t study the pros and cons. They received directives, they bowed to them, and they tried to explain them to their congregations.”

Coercive insistence on official formulations tells the laity in no uncertain terms that their experience and reflection make little difference. This in spite of Vatican II ‘s contrary assertion: “Let it be recognized that all of the faithful — clerical and lay — possess a lawful freedom of enquiry and of thought, and the freedom to express their minds humbly and courageously about those matters in which they enjoy competence” [Gaudium et Spes § 62]. If such humble and courageous expression counts for nothing, we experience yet another wound to the authority of the ordinary magisterium. The search for truth falls victim to ideology.[xviii]

Marriage Preparation following Humanae Vitae

As a Catholic theologian, I became aware that the Catholic hierarchy was so mindlessly supportive of NFP as to neglect to inform users that, as in the case of all medical advice, there were potentially dangerous “side effects” for those using NFP.  This practice of one-sided dishonesty is not only unfortunate, it is criminal negligence. The bishops should have listened to the faithful and have alerted them to known failures as part of their pact to maintain “honesty in advertising.”

Consider, for example, the medical advice given to patients by The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists:

Q: How effective is NFP in preventing pregnancy?

A: Natural family planning is not[xix] as effective as most other methods of birth control. One in four women who use this method becomes pregnant. The method is not suited for the following women:

  • Women who should not get pregnant because of medical reasons

  • Women with irregular menstrual periods who may not be able to tell when they are fertile

  • Women with abnormal bleeding, vaginitis, or cervicitis (these make the cervical mucus method unreliable)

  • Women who use certain medications (for instance, antibiotics, thyroid medications, and antihistamines) that may change the nature of vaginal secretions, making mucus signs impossible to read

  • Women with certain problems unrelated to fertility (for instance, fever) that can cause changes in basal body temperature  (source)

If our  bishops had included these on a “warning label” with their NFP promotional pitches, then Catholic women who suffered through unwanted pregnancies would have felt relieved that it was not entirely their fault that they got pregnant while using NFP.  Meanwhile, those using NFP for the first time would would have been encouraged in knowing that their bishops were straight shooters and that they were not blinded by ideological and theological factors.  I have yet to find a single bishop who attaches an informed “warning label” when he approaches NFP.  Paul VI surely did not do so.

In fact, when I go to examine what my own diocese has posted on its website, I find statements that are flatly contradicted by The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.  Here are a few:

Any married couple can use NFP! A woman need not have “regular” cycles.[xx]

NFP methods support reproductive health. They are good for the body. The natural methods have none of the harmful side effects caused by contraception, especially chemical contraceptives (e.g., pill, injection, etc.).[xxi]

When wishing to avoid pregnancy, studies show that couples who follow their NFP method’s guidelines correctly, and all the time, achieve effectiveness rates of 97-99%.[xxii]

The most outrageous deception, however, is this one:

The methods of NFP are the only approach to true responsible parenthood because they respect God’s design for married love!

It is to the credit of Paul VI that he popularized the notion that “responsible parenthood” requires parents to decide how many children to bring into this crowded world and when they are to be conceived.  Earlier generations of Catholics had the notion that family planning was unnecessary (maybe even impossible) and that partners had sex at random times with the notion that ‘God decides how many children to give us.’  Bishops even created the fantasy that doctors who warned women to avoid future conceptions were to be ignored due to the rubric: “Let God take charge of your life.”[xxiii] Also, large families were regarded as especially blessed by God.

[Update: One has to wait until 2015 before one hears a papal refutation of these earlier misconceptions.]

Case Four: Dishonest Advertising in favor of NFP

As things now stand, the glowing testimonials in favor of NFP are motivated by the “unspoken truth” that NFP is the ONLY OFFICIALLY APPROVED method for regulating pregnancies (other than abstaining from sex altogether).  Hence, Catholics who believe that Paul VI could make no error in drafting Humanae Vitae are prompted to do fancy cartwheels to demonstrate that he was 100% right about NFP.

So I went online to check this out.  Should you visit the cheerful site known as Catholic Online, you will discover a Catholic mother of six giving a faith-based testimony of how she decided to hold fast to NFP.  Along the way, however, she makes some pretty fantastical claims:

When women learn to read their [menstrual] cycles, they often report a renewed sense of self-worth. . . .  Women often can’t place their finger on it, but they sense this. Not surprisingly, couples who practice a method of NFP have only a 5% rate[xxiv] of divorce by comparison to the 50% rate in the population at large. Clearly, when couples treat one another with dignity and respect, honoring the wholeness of each person, their relationship is positively effected [sic].

I say “fantastical” because if the claim of a “5% rate” was actually true, then sex therapist and couples counselors would have used this info by way of shoring up sagging marriages everywhere–and not just among Catholics.  Yet, in most things, if something seems too good to be true, it probably a scam.[xxv]  And this is unfortunately the case here, despite the fact that I have heard and seen this unsubstantiated[xxvi] claim routinely repeated in dozens of NFP promotionals. Hence, this is something like being told to take huge doses of vitamin C to prevent the onset of the common cold.  “Every belief works in the eyes of the believer” (Michael Polanyi).  Thus we have here an instance in which NFP is being dishonestly promoted with undocumented and exaggerated claims.

Why Paul VI thought contraceptive use was immoral

Why exactly are contraceptives always immoral?  The Church is not against interventions into nature.  We approve of vaccinations and use eye glasses?  Why then are medically safe contraceptives not permitted to Catholics for limiting and spacing pregnancies in the way that Paul VI mandated?

The reason is that every act of intercourse must be open to conception.  Hence, it follows that married couples cannot do anything that would prevent conception.

NFP is permitted only because nothing is done to prevent conception.  But this is ludicrous!  Couples use NFP precisely with the intention of making love without conceiving a child.  There is nothing “natural” about the process.  Each morning the mucus is checked and the basal temperature is taken.  By so doing, the couple can determine when ovulation takes place.  Five days after this, the “safe period” begins and lasts for eight to fifteen days.  These are the days chosen to make love. The whole business of NFP, therefore, it terribly contrived and quite artificial.  For those who are using NFP to have good sex without risking hellfire, the effort seems to pay off.

Some advocates even explain that periods of complete abstinence followed by periods of unlimited sex “brings them into the mood of recalling their honeymoon period that following their abstinence leading up to marriage.”  I can relate to that.  What I can’t relate to is how the zealots for NFM completely overlook the natural fact that, for women, their mucus is slippery (they are wet) and their desire is high just at the time that ovulation is taking place.  If this is a normal aspect of female fertility, then the God who created women’s fertility cycle was surely promoting both the heightened sexual desire and the heightened pleasure enabled by the slippery mucus. But, according to the designers of NFP,  the sexual pleasure of women is seemingly not all that important[xxvii] and God’s design for increased arousal at the time of ovulation can be ignored.  This is another grave reason why NFP is  so completely “unnatural.”

How the Bishops Promote NFP

The Bishops’ Committee on Pastoral Research and Practice decided in 1989 to urge bishops to mandate that every engaged couple must take a full course in natural family planning prior to their wedding. Experience showed that fewer than 5% of Catholics made use of NFP.  Experience also showed that almost no engaged couples took a course in natural family planning unless they were required to do so. Hence, almost everywhere now, the Pre-Cana Retreat required of Catholics who want to marry in the Church includes a healthy dose of NFP.

In my own experience of marriage preparation in the archdiocese of Cincinnati, I relished the fact that NFP was presented by two enthusiastic married couples who taught us a method that combined mucus testing and temperature taking. The emphasis was upon the “hidden miracle” of the fertility cycle and “how neat it was” to be aware of how the woman’s body changes along with (but not because of) the phases of the moon.  NFP was also presented as the “green” and “chemical-free” form of birth control—aspects that very much agreed with our shared ecological life values.

Despite this positive and upbeat approach to NFP that I myself experienced, I was surprised that the official polls show only 1 to 3 percent of fertile Catholics depend upon NFP as their only method of birth control. This must be terribly depressing for bishops who are spending lots of money promoting NFP.  It must also be depressing for those couples who spend so much time and attention to NFM during the marriage preparation sessions.

On the down side, I am also aware that younger Catholic couples don’t take kindly to bishops telling them what they can and cannot do in the privacy of their bedroom.  Older Catholics don’t approve of the way that the bishops require all patients treated in Catholic hospitals to follow the moral rubrics of the Vatican.  Thus Catholic hospitals do not allow physicians employed by them to prescribe birth control to their patients or to perform IVF, vasectomies, or tubal ligations.  Is this a case where the Catholic bishops are deliberately curtailing physicians employed by them from giving sound medical advice consistent with modern medical journals and proven clinical practice?  It surely is!  Do most physicians manage to speak “confidentially” and “off the record” to their patients such that they patients can distinguish when the medical dictates of the RCC run counter to the health and well-being of their patients?  I surely hope so.  Yet, if and when they do so, they risk being reported to the authorities for doing so and ultimately losing their employment in all Catholic institutions.

This coercive situation injures the dignity of all those involved. The plain truth is that the Catholic bishops have failed to convince 95% of their own people to rely solely upon NFP and not to use contraceptives.  So, as a last ditch stand, they appear to resort to treating adults like children.  They force hospitals to refuse to offer contraceptives because “father knows best.”  The bishops even tried to force Obama to drop contraceptives from the insurance coverage given to employees in Catholic institutions.  Rape victims, meanwhile, who find refuge in a Catholic hospital, are denied the “morning after pill.”   Why so?  Because the Catholic bishops have never permitted extenuating circumstances to ever justify the use of contraceptives.  In Catholic practice, a woman who has just been raped has no special exemption from the “no contraceptives” clause that blindly determines medical practice within Catholis hospitals.  The dishonesty of these measures is that, while the “moral purity” of the bishops is being safeguarded, the rights of patients to choose and the rights of doctors to place the well-being of their patients first is being trampled upon.

The mentality of the US Catholic bishops is that every act of intercourse must be open to conception.  This assumption is the weak link underpinning NFP and the ban against all contraceptives.  Objections to this assumption are many.  Here are the most prominent:

  • Just because Catholics regard sex as the natural route for fulfilling the command to “be fruitful and to multiply” does not mean that every sex act must accomplish this.  In actual practice, even Catholic couples with large families acknowledge that only a small percentage of their love-making results in pregnancies.
  • God himself designed the menstrual cycle in such a way as to put in place a period of infertility interspersed with a period of fertility. This can be interpreted to mean that even God favors times of sexual bonding, sexual play, and sexual exploration between partners without any conception resulting.
  • If “family planning” is mandated for modern-day Catholics, then all forms of safe birth control are not only permitted but absolutely required in order to prevent an irresponsible overpopulation of the earth that would ultimately lead to deforestation, over-fishing the seas, and new eruptions of starvation and war. NFP can be permitted only as long as its weaknesses are known and acknowledged. As Pope Francis declared in talking with reporters following his January 2015 papal visit to the Philippines, “God does not intend us to multiply like rabbits.”  [https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2015/01/20/]
The Suffering of Future Generations due to Overpopulation

Given the exponential growth in the world population, the question naturally emerged in 1968 as to whether unchecked human growth is sustainable during the next hundred or two hundred years.
Many dismissed this on the grounds that there was ample space for housing developments nearly everywhere (even in Hong Kong); hence, the earth could easily sustain two to three times our present population. Pope Pius VI in Humanae Vitae agreed with this optimistic projection.

But now we know what we could not know in 1968. Three points and a conclusion:

#1 According to the United Nations, one in every five humans depends on fish as their primary source of protein. (United Nations, 2004) On the other hand, marine ecologists fear that the biggest single threat to marine ecosystems today is overfishing. Our appetite for fish is exceeding the oceans’ ecological limits and industrial fishing has had devastating impacts on marine ecosystems. The cod fisheries off Newfoundland, Canada, collapsed in 1992, leading to the loss of some 40,000 jobs in the industry. The cod stocks in the North Sea and Baltic Sea are now heading the same way and are close to complete depletion. As population grows, the pressure for more and more effective fishing increases, and no government can, in conscience, limit the growth of industrial fishing so that sustainability can again be achieved. For this crime, we and our children’s children will suffer. . . .

#2 The story for oil shows exactly the same phenomena. Recently developing countries like India and China are legitimately moving toward increased industrialization in order to feed, clothe, and house their teeming populations. Meanwhile, the International Energy Agency’s (IEA) 2010 World Energy Outlook estimated that conventional crude oil production has peaked and depleting at 6.8% per year.  Meanwhile, no government is currently rationing oil products; rather, every nation is trying to out-produce everyone else so that their people can enjoy the luxurious lifestyle that manufactured goods promise. But who is speaking for those who will be living when the industrialized landscape has to begin shutting down due to the worldwide scarcity of crude oil? For this crime, our children’s children will suffer. . . .

#3 Governments have admitted that acid rain is a serious international environmental problem and many countries have taken steps to reduce sulfur dioxide emissions into the atmosphere. But air pollution does not stop at national boundaries. As the industrialization of India and China moves into high gear, new coal-burning plants[xxviii] increase those toxic emissions that show us as smog in their cities. This is the immediate effect. Meanwhile, these invisible poison gases enter the atmosphere and, much later, forests and fish living thousands of miles away are put at risk due to the falling of acid rain. Some of the most dramatic effects on forests have been observed in Europe. In 1983, a survey in West Germany showed that 34% of the country’s total forest is damaged by air pollution. This included about one half of the famous Black Forest. Switzerland, despite its careful management of its forest reserves, has recorded losing 14% of her forest trees due to the pollution originating outside its borders. For this crime, we and our children’s children will suffer. . . .

The world population when Humanae Vitae was first published was 3.5 billion. Today’s world population is 7.2 billion. This is more than double. Let’s face it. If current trends continue, another fifty years of reckless population growth will inevitably produce an immeasurable amount of human suffering.  So now, in view of the destructive side-effects of population growth, what is stopping our bishops from sponsoring conferences aimed at reexamining the optimistic notes regarding population growth in Humanae Vitae?  Not to examine the flaws in HV[xxix] now can only give blind support to the practices that disrupt the ecosystems of our dear home and planet.  This blindness puts our children and our children’s children at risk.

Case Five: Dishonesty Regarding Gay Sexuality

Before same-sex unions could imagine and then to actually fight for the right to be married, three important conditions within heterosexual marriages had to change.  Here they are:

#1 Roles assigned to men as money-makers and women as home-makers had to become flexible.  It had to become possible for a husband to decide to stay home to keep the house and to raise the children while his wife, an engineer or a lawyer, goes to work each day and earns the money to keep their enterprise afloat with only one salary.  If a husband and wife can live this way and even, to some degree, relish “exchanging roles,” then it is possible that two women or two men could do the same thing and call what they have “a loving and fruitful marriage” with the same fierce conviction.

#2  Men had to become less authoritarian and women had to become less submissive.  Even Aristotle was able to acknowledge that “true friendship” can flourish only when “both men are social equals.” I can illustrate this best by examing the lives of my own parents and grandparents.  In my grandparents generation, men alone could open bank accounts, men alone could buy a home or an automobile on credit, men alone could decide what companions and what forms of recreation were suitable for his wife, men alone could initiate sex in the bedroom, men alone could decide what sort of education was appropriate for each of his children[xxx], men alone had the legal right to claim their offspring as “belonging to them” in the case of a contentious divorce.

#3  The paradigm of sex had to shift from “making babies” to “making love.” It is rare, in my experience, to find a celibate priest who talks knowingly about what it means for a couple to be “making love.”  On the other hand, “making babies” is much more understandable for celibates because the logic of an orgasm in a vaginal canal that has an ovum ripening is primary an intellectual affair.  Since most priests are intelligent, they find it easy to understand “making babies.”

This is precisely where Cardinal Ratzinger has focused his attention and this is his backdrop for doing his moralizing.  He is speaking eloquently to my grandparents generation.  However, he cannot be trusted to address the moral values and concerns of the present generation.  Moreover, being a priest and an archbishop further isolates him from knowing and appreciating the art of love-making.[xxxi]

Making love cannot be understood by attending lectures, by reading books, by watching romantic films.  Making love begins with a mutual sexual attraction that matures within a series of give and takes, trials and errors, into a budding romance that builds upon mutual admiration woven together with sustained trust.  Sex begins with light touches, hand-holding, sitting close, telling secrets, etc.  Two people make loving following a path that they carve out for themselves that is filled with deep intuitions, playfulness, and surprises.  No two people do it in the same way.  No two people do it in the same way even after twenty years of marriage.  Cardinal Ratzinger is a complete stranger to most of this.

Since “making babies” is easier to understand and easier to talk about, clerics such as Cardinal Ratzinger usually only talk about “making babies.”  The art of “making love” attracts them, escapes them, baffles them, but they usually don’t talk about it.  Either they are aware of how little experience they have and, thus, they stay away from talking about “making love” for fear that they would come across as superficial or downright stupid.  Or, on the other hand, clerics might be aware of how much experience they have had and they prefer not to reveal such intimate moments of their lives, especially if they have had significant “love-making” with another man.  Perhaps this is the reason why the official Vatican theology of sexuality along with its morality is framed almost entirely in the safe but outdated paradigm of “making babies.”

This is unfortunate.  For what reason?  Fr. Shaji George Kochuthara, CMI, associate professor of theology at Dharmaram Vidya in Bangalore, made a thorough study of how sex as “making babies” was accepted, for a very long time, as the supreme value of sex.  Then, as Catholic experience grew in tandem with contemporary society, sex as “making love” attached itself to “making babies.” Thus, in the 60s, there were two supreme values of marital sex. In the 80s, however, sex as “making love” took on such importance as to supplant the earlier supreme value of sex.  Fr. Kochuthara, in his groundbreaking study, The Concept of Sexual Pleasure in the Catholic Moral Tradition, summarizes his discovery in these words:

When we consider the theological developments from the second half of the 20th century, we can identify a notable change in the emphasis on procreation. The emphasis is no more on procreation, but on love. Mutual love and union of the couple is the most important purpose of marriage as well as that of the marital union. We may understand the difference only when we consider that tradition up to modern times, which practically assigned no place to the discussion on love as pertaining to conjugal life. Besides considering love as a necessary condition for conjugal intimacy, all other aspects of conjugal life, including the procreative dimension, are given their significance based on the criterion of love.[xxxii]

In plain-speaking and vulgar language, what Fr. Kochuthara is saying is that, in my grandparents’ generation, a man could fuck[xxxiii] his wife and be proud of himself.  He was fulfilling God’s command to be “fruitful and to multiply.”  His wife, meanwhile, had “done her duty” by patiently submitting to her husband’s sexual advances and by raising his children so that he could be proud of them.  Nothing more was required.

The time is quickly arriving and is already here when “fucking” is not enough. Any husband who does not allow his wife to coach him in the art of love-making is not worthy to be called a lover.  His erection and his sexual satisfaction is not the end all and be all.  Unless a husband can escape being exclusively absorbed by his sexual arousal and actively turn his attention to pleasuring his wife, there can be no mutuality in sex and their love-making will inevitably be less humane than what it could be.

Cardinal Ratzinger appears never to have understood this.  How could he? In the back of his mind, sex was still about “making babies.” This he could understand.  This he could logically explain.  “Making love” was nebulous and inconsequential and frightening.

  • That is why he took the mandate of Pius XI, “Every act of sexuality had to be open to its natural procreative function,” and made it his mantra.
  • This is why he automatically eliminated same-sex unions as worthy of any consideration: no two men or two women can “make babies.”
  • This is why he routinely refers to marital intercourse as “the conjugal act” and never once uses the more precise and more modern term, “making love.”

Furthermore, Cardinal Ratzinger seemingly never had the occasion to admire and to care for anyone who had a homosexual orientation.  Just to the contrary, he had some painful interactions with gay men in 1968[xxxiv], and the trauma of these interactions appears to have blocked him from any desire to meet or to understand gays or lesbians from that point forward.  As a result, he had no interest in creating a Church dedicated to understanding, loving, and protecting its gay and lesbian members.  Quite to the contrary, he felt impelled to create a Church wherein “baby-making” was the core of permissible sex and that, as a result, homosexual sex was “objectively disordered” and same-sex unions had no intrinsic value whatsoever when contrasted with the divinely approved marriage of a man and a women.

Furthermore, Cardinal Ratzinger was never the parent of a child, and, as a result he never had the opportunity to learn the art of love that plays itself out between a parent and a special child.  Hence, while he was a brilliant theologian, he lacked the emotional intelligence and the empathy that his office, as Father of the Church, requires.

Cardinal Ratzinger’s Dark Side

I do not fault Cardinal Ratzinger for being true to himself by taking what he could understand, namely sex as “baby-making,” and making it the center of his moral theology of marriage.  I cannot fault him for allowing the traumatic events of 1968 to insulate him from any further contacts with the LGBT community.  I cannot fault him from being authoritarian.  Nor can I fault him from growing old and, in so doing, to become less and less aware of the changing values of young married couples.  I can even excuse him for become less and less aware of the horrendous spiritual pain and psychological suffering that his doctrine of homosexuality imposed on young people who grew up loving the Church.  In all these things, Cardinal Ratzinger was being true to himself.

I want to fault Cardinal Ratzinger only for this: that he was so unaware of his “dark side” as to suppose that he was so well-informed and so knowledgeable as to be capable of resolving “by himself” all the complex psychological, physiological, and theological aspects of homosexuality.  Only someone with an overextended estimate of his own capabilities could do something like that.  And then to make matters even worse, he spent hours and days and months using the powers of his office to harass and to silence anyone within the Church who openly disagreed with him.  This, too, is his dangerous “dark side.”

In brief, he was an “inquisitor” of the old school.  He evoked fear in his victims.  Those who did not accept his moral norms were stripped of their right to teach and their right to publish.  And, for this, he gained much praise from those who also have authoritarian personalities and admire Cardinal Ratzinger because he slammed his fist down and refused to apologize for taking draconian steps to protect the indisputable truths of the Catholic Church.  But none of his victims ever praised the fairness of his inquisitorial process.  None of them were convinced by his brilliant arguments.

As for the repressive conduct of the Cardinal Ratzinger and a large segment of the hierarchy in these matters, one would do well to remember the cautionary words of Harry S. Truman:

Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror[33] to all its citizens and creates a country [Church] where everyone lives in fear.

Needless self-hatred, loneliness, and false guilt

So, in the end, I have tried to make clear why Cardinal Ratzinger’s doctrine of homosexuality stands upon a theology of sexuality that is seriously flawed and antiquated.  It should be commended to no one, and pastors who recommend it are setting up their LGBT parishioners for an “unnatural” celibate life that is filled with needless self-hatred, loneliness, and false guilt.  In a word, Ratzinger’s doctrine which has become the bedrock of the Catholic bishops worldwide is a serious sin and a criminal action against the Beneficent Creator who gives to each person their particular calling and sexual orientation.

Finally, If homosexual orientations are not voluntarily chosen but are a gift of God “discovered” during the time of the sexual awakening that marks adolescence, then it is “blameless.” Cardinal Ratzinger entirely agrees with this.  The problem is that he then goes on to take the rules governing sex among heterosexuals in my grandparents generation and applies this to homosexuals.  This is clearly an absurd notion.  If heterosexual men are gifted with a natural attraction to women, then it would be absurd to suggest that they had this impulse but were never able to act upon it.  Likewise, for lesbians to have a natural attraction to women, it would likewise be absurd (a violation of natural law) to suggest that they had this God-given impulse but were never permitted (according to Ratzinger’s doctrine) to act upon it.  Thus all the clever tricks that Cardinal Ratzinger uses to demoralize lesbians and gays runs against God’s own manifest intentionality in giving them a calling which has its own special rules.  Cardinal Ratzinger never came to understood this.  This is the glaring absurdity stuck in the middle of his entire absurd system.

 

 What lessons can be learned from this dishonesty?

During the course of the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965), free and open discussions gradually took hold among the assembled bishops once the curial grip on the Council was challenged.  Within this aggiornamento [1] that was endorsed by John XXIII, the bishops discovered how creative collaboration with each other and with the Holy Spirit served to chart a visionary program of collaborative pastoral renewal that received overwhelming approval by the assembled bishops.

Once the bishops went home, however, the wisdom of free deliberations and collective decision making was quickly ignored by Paul VI.   Before they went home, however, the bishops made plans for a tri-annual Synod of Bishops that would meet in order to further define and extend the pastoral renewal of Vatican II.  Very quickly the curia took charge of the agenda of these Synods, and the popes who chaired them reduced them to becoming consultative rather than the deliberative bodies.   The Synod of 1971 marked a turning point.  Since then, the Synods meeting in Rome have been toothless tigers that have had no consequences for defining the key pastoral challenges facing the Church.  Much less did these Roman Synods have any opportunity to examine and to reform practices that were dishonestly arrived at and that had caused Catholic an enormous amount of unnecessary suffering.

Pope Francis indicated his intention to return to the vision of Vatican II.  He planned an ordinary Synod on the Family for 4-25 Oct 2015.  Meanwhile he mandated that an extraordinary Synod on the Family planned for 5-19 Oct 2014 would do the planning and the preparatory work for the ordinary Synod that would come a year later.

My sources indicate that, in early 2014, Pope Francis met with the organizers of this Synod and made plain his requirement: “I want discussion.”  The chair responded, “The bishops are not accustomed to having discussions during these synods.”  Pope Francis rebuffed this challenge saying, “I want lots of discussions.”   Thus, the organizers have effectively been mandated to return to the free and open discussions that marked Vatican II.  Pope Francis emphasized this point in opening this Synod.

Why the Pope Doesn’t Quickly Clean Up the Mess

Pope Francis could push the Church ahead by virtue of a series of “executive commands” but this would be a defeat of the collaborative and decision making mandated by Vatican II.  We have suffered under three popes who have squelched collaboration and have mandated changes that, in my view, defeated and reversed both the spirit and the letter of Vatican II.  If Pope Francis would conduct himself as did these popes, then the people of God would be subjected to more authoritarian policies that would inevitably continue to divide the Church into factions.   Moreso, if Pope Francis would adapt an authoritarian style of papal leadership, this would further entrench the practice of papal authoritarianism and effectively incite bishops to oppose him in the name of a future conservative pope who would be elected to the Roman episcopal office.   It would also give the College of Cardinals the impulse to choose a successor for Pope Francis who would reverse everything done by him.  In effect, therefore, even a “bully” with a progressive agenda in the papal office is still a “bully” whose style of leadership defeats the Gospel and negates the functioning of Synods as envisioned by Vatican II.

Pope Francis has made it abundantly clear that he favors “synodolism,” the term he prefers to use interchangeably with “collegiality.”   During the first ceremony of the blessing and imposition of the pallium on 34 metropolitan archbishops on 29 June 2013, Pope Francis spoke about “the path of collegiality” as the road that can lead the Church to “grow in harmony with the service of primacy.”   He has publicly chosen an international group of eight cardinals to work with him in reforming the Curia.   He has convoked an Extraordinary Synod on the Family, and, at the same time, he has promoted an international survey intended to allow the bishops to hear the joys and sorrows, the trials and tribulations that surround family issues.   The conducting of this worldwide survey was erratic and the tabulation of the results left significant loopholes; nonetheless, Francis opened the door to hearing the “sensus fidelium” and signaling to the bishops at the Synod that real people with real problems were counting on them for mercy and justice and love.

In brief, I would judge that to the degree that Pope Francis brings open discussion and collegiality back to the forthcoming extraordinary Synod on the Family will we be able to trust him to begin healing the Roman Catholic Church of its destructive factionalism, its crippling authoritarianism, and its pastoral dysfunctionality.

Collegiality is not just an invention of Vatican II.  Collegiality was the hallmark of Peter’s authority in the early church.  Collegiality was the defining character of the Patristic churches as well.  Papal absolutism was only invented in the middle ages when authoritarian monarchs populated the European landscape.   In that era, the Vatican States had to have its own absolute monarch so as to be able to hold its head high in the assembly of monarchs.

But this era has passed away.   The European states gradually discovered the wisdom of limiting the divine right of kings, and, eventually, they dethroning monarchs entirely.  Thus, the papacy represents the last of the absolute monarchs in Europe.   And the Vatican wants us, like gullible children, to believe that Matt 16:18 represents the will of the divine savior to establish Peter as an absolute monarch in governing the church. . . .

On this last point, Pope Francis flatly disagrees with a papacy that functions like an absolute monarchy.  In fact, Pope Francis has been promoting the reading and the implementation of archbishop emeritus of San Francisco John R. Quinn’s book, Reform of the Papacy.   This is the best good news about Pope Francis!  How far and how successful Pope Francis will be in this reform remains to be seen.  One thing is for sure: Pope Francis needs to get allies for this project at all levels of church organization.  Here is where you, the reader, and I, the author of this essay, come to play our parts.  Either we can continue to blindly believe that incompetent popes made bad decisions that were upheld as unquestionable and unchangeable or we can join with Pope Francis and expose the dishonesty that surrounds bad decisions that have been imposed from the top down.

More  Resources:

Celibacy as the MAIN REASON for the lack of vocations
Priests talking about celibacy
The Tradition of Abusive Dishonesty
The Trouble with Celibacy in Africa
When a Priest Falls in Love

===========================

Endnotes

[i] The papacy prior to John XXIII has been quick to silence innovative pastors and to hinder any reforms that did not advance the papal agenda. Without a reforming pope like John XXIII, we Catholics would still be reciting our rosaries and reading our private missals during a Mass that had a mystery and holiness that was largely unintelligible to us and removed from our direct participation. Thus, the directives of Vatican II offer a remarkable summary of the pastoral changes that Martin Luther fostered among the Catholics who favored the reforms of the sixteenth century: “The rite of the Mass is to be revised in such a way that… devout and active participation by the faithful may be more easily achieved. For this purpose the rites are to be simplified… The treasures of the Bible are to be opened up more lavishly so that a richer fare may be provided for the faithful at the table of God’s word… The homily is to be highly esteemed as part of the liturgy itself… It should not be omitted except for a serious reason” [Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy § 50-52].

The counter-Reformation, on the other hand, made sure that no one moved ahead or stayed behind the authoritarian Vicar of Christ on earth. Without Rome’s approval, nothing went forward.  The reforms of Martin Luther were therefore to be despised and hindered.

[ii] James Atkinson, “Catholic Devaluation of Luther, 1517-1939: The Period of Hostility and Destructive Criticism,” Martin Luther: Prophet to the Catholic Church, Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1983, 3-47.

[iii] Paul VI received a substantial number of letters from pastors who favoured a change in the rule of celibacy. See n. 15.

[iv] Fr. Christian Cochini, SJ, examines the question of when the tradition of priestly celibacy began in the Latin Church, and he is able to trace it back to its apostolic origins. Hence, his book is aptly titled Apostolic Origins of Priestly Celibacy  (San Francisco: Ignatius, 1990). Some Catholics believe that Fr. Cochini provides the meticulous research into the origins of priestly celibacy that were lacking at the time that Pius VI wrote Sacerdotalis Caelibatus. George T. Dennis, SJ, on the other hand, examines the data offered by Cochini and concludes that his book provides no evidence that celibacy had apostolic origins: “There is simply no clear evidence of a general tradition or practice, much less of an obligation, of priestly celibacy-continence before the beginning of the fourth century.” Peter Fink, SJ, agrees, saying that underlying premises used in the book “would not stand up so comfortably to historical scrutiny.” See also Roger Balducelli, “The Apostolic Origins of Clerical Continence: A Critical Appraisal of a New Book,” Theological Studies 43 (1982) 693-705. While Cochini’s book may have been enthusiastically received in some circles in his native India, the website of the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of India presents a narrative that roundly rejects his thesis (http://www.cbci.in/Celibacy-In-The-Catholic-Church.aspx).

[v] What functions will and will not prevail in the world to come remains open to study. The theme of the heavenly banquet where eating and drinking at the abundant love feast would require an earth that has harvests and skilled ranks of harvesters, bakers, wine brewers, cooks, etc. It would also require that the resurrected bodies are functioning bodies capable of practicing and perfecting the agricultural and culinary arts. When sexuality is considered as procreation and marriage is considered as bonding a woman to the use of one man who is not free to divorce her, then one can see how, in the first century, Jesus might have been inclined to imagine that the institution of marriage would be set aside in the world to come. This says nothing, however, about the loss of the human sexual appetite and the hunger for intimacy. In an earlier age when sex was considered as a hindrance to true holiness, Christians were naturally inclined to imagine Jesus was a virgin. It was in harmony with this earlier age that Paul VI wrote his encyclical. The new wine, however, will have to be transported in new wine skins and not in the old skins of Sacerdotalis Caelibatus.

[vi] For more details, see Edward Schillbeeckx, Clerical Celibacy Under Fire, Kansas City: Sheed & Ward, 1968, and Garry Wills, Papal Sin: Structures of Deceit, New York: Doubleday, 2000, 104-150.

[vii] In some segments of American culture, patriarchy still rules and a man who surrenders himself to his wife is considered weak and unmanly.  In Africa, on the other hand, patriarchy is still very prevelent and “virility” is invariably associated with “the number of children” that a man fathers.  I find this attitude to be true to some African-American men as well.  Such men wear a small earring for each child that they fathered.  In Africa, clerical celibacy is often forced to take a second place when it comes time for priests to gain the respect of their congregations.

[viii] The empathy that I am thinking of here is the recognition that so many seminarians already have a dual vocation.

[ix] The National Association of Pastoral Renewal conducted a survey of active priests in the U.S.A. in 1967. 62% of the respondents favored optional celibacy. 92% favored allowing married priests and their wives to receive communion. At the 1971 convention of the National Federation of Priests’ Councils, the delegates voted nine-to-one in favor of changing the law requiring celibacy. Terence Sweeney, SJ, polled the 312 American Catholic bishops on this question and 24% of the respondents favored optional celibacy. The 1985 Gallup Poll of Catholic laity found that 63% favored married priests. This and other data can be found in Joseph H. Fichter, SJ, Wives of Catholic Clergy, New York: Sheed & Ward, 1992, 172-180.

[x] I myself, as a seminary professor for twenty-five years, have witnessed many seminarians who honestly and painfully spoke of their crisis of conscience forced upon them by a hierarchy that refused to distinguish between the gift of celibacy and the calling to ordained ministry. Even for those going ahead toward ordination admitted that they were often ‘confused that God should seemingly confound them by giving them such a powerful hunger for intimacy and for family.’

[xi] More recent studies demonstrate that the rule of celibacy has continued to be a heavy burden for many priests. Research conducted by Professor Jozef Baniak at Poznand University in Poland found that 54 percent of Polish priests support an end to mandatory celibacy (The Tablet 2/14/09). Nearly one-third of these Polish priests described themselves as being in intimate relationships with women while 12 percent admitted that they were living with a woman. In 2011, hundreds of German, Austrian and Swiss theologians (249 as of February 15, 2011) signed a letter calling for the ordination of married priests (http://www.memorandum-freiheit.de/?page_ id=518). Other appeals can be found here: http://www.ca.renewedpriesthood.org/ page.cfm?Web_ID=1609. One can find priests struggling with intimacy telling their personal storied at “Priests at the Crossroads” (http://www.leavingthepriesthood. com/
PriestsatCrossroads.html#anchor_10).

[xii] Hormonal contraceptives (the pill, the patch, and the vaginal ring) all contain a small amount of estrogen and progestin hormones. These hormones work to inhibit the body’s natural cyclical hormones to prevent pregnancy. Pregnancy is prevented by a combination of factors. The hormonal contraceptive usually stops the body from ovulating. Hormonal contraceptives also change the cervical mucus to make it difficult for the sperm to find an egg. Hormonal contraceptives can also prevent pregnancy by making the lining of the womb inhospitable for implantation. For more details, see http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/birth-control-pills.

[xiii] When asked about birth control, a priest in the Archdiocese of Cincinnati explained to me that he would ask the penitent how many children have been given to them by the Lord. “If they said two or more, then I explained to them that they had fulfilled their obligation to be fruitful and that the Lord now granted them complete freedom to decide if and when they would conceive any future children. This being the case, the use of birth control was permitted.”

[xiv] For the most detailed description of the inside story of the Papal Birth Control Commission, see Robert McClory, Turning Point, New York: Crossroad, 1995. Other helpful accounts are given by a Vatican II reported, Robert Blair Kaiser, The Politics of Sex and Religion: A Case History in the Development of Doctrine, Kansas City: Leaven Press, 1985, and by a Benedictine monk, Philip S. Kaufman, Why You Can Disagree [with the Pope on Birth Control] and Remain a Faithful Catholic, New York: Crossroad, 1992.

[xv] Shaji George Kochuthara, CMI, in his excellent study, The Concept of Sexual Pleasure in the Catholic Moral Tradition, Rome: Editrice Pontificia Universita Gregoriana, 2007, 310 n. 214.

[xvi] McClory, Turning Point, 88-94, 102-106.

[xviii] Richard McCormick, SJ, “Theologians and the Magisterium,” Corrective Vision, Explorations in Moral Theology, Sheed & Ward (now a subsidiary of Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc., Landham, Maryland) 1994, 95. See also John M. Swomley, “The Pope and the Pill” (http://www.population-security.org/swom-98-02.htm).

[xix] In Catholic literature, bold claims are often made.  An example: “The effectiveness of the major methods [of NFP] when followed correctly approach 95-99%” (Women Speak on NFP, https://www.carrotsformichaelmas.com/2013/04/29/women-speak-on-nfp-when-natural-family-planning-doesnt-go-according-to-your-plan/).  As is often the case, no reference is given to substantiate this claim.  Mike Manhart, executive director of the Cincinnati-based Couple to Couple League, which offers one of two primary methods of NFP offered in the archdiocese, goes so far as to claim “NFP is 99.5 percent effective when used correctly” (http://catholicvoiceomaha.com/couples-say-natural-methods-family-planning-are-healthy-and-promote-communication-and-respect).

[xx] http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/what-is-nfp/nfp-users.cfm

[xxi] http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/what-is-nfp/benefits.cfm  Notice that “the harmful side effects caused by contraception” are intimated here without naming them and without any reference to independent research.  Neither are the “harmful side effects of NFP” mentioned.

[xxii] http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/what-is-nfp/effectiveness.cfm  Notice that no reference is given to substantiate this claim.  The website does say, however, that “Others, who are unclear about their family planning intention (i.e., spacing or limiting pregnancy) or are less motivated, will not consistently follow the method’s guidelines and have a lower effectiveness rate of 80-90%.”  But 80% is still very high compared with the 25% effectiveness rate determined by medical experts.

[xxiii] Here is a case that illustrates the pietistic bravado of clerics:

John Paul II recounted [during the funeral homily on 07 Feb 1998] the story of Pironio’s mother, as the cardinal had once related it to the pope: “In the history of my family,” the pontiff said quoting the late cardinal, “there is something miraculous. When she gave birth to her first son, my mother was barely 18 years old and fell seriously ill. After her recovery the doctors told her that she would not be able to have any more children without risking her own life. So she went to consult the Auxiliary Bishop of La Plata, who told her: ‘Doctors can be mistaken: put yourself in God’s hands and do your duty as a wife.’ My mother then gave birth to 21 more. I am the last, and she lived until she was 82.”

Notice the thrust here.  The Bishop of La Plata advises this woman to ignore her doctors and risk death in order to “do your duty as a wife.” This is a patriarchal burden placed on women who give themselves over completely to be used and abused by their husbands. The confusing message was “put yourself [recklessly] in God’s hands.” It never occurs to the bishop that her serious illness and her doctor’s warnings might also be “messages” sent to her from God.    [See Pope Francis and his response in such circumstances.]

[xxiv] This figure of 5% is repeated endlessly.  No sources are given.  It appears that Catholic read what others have written and repeat their unwarranted claims because they judge that this represents solid research.  See, for example, http://catholicvoiceomaha.com/couples-say-natural-methods-family-planning-are-healthy-and-promote-communication-and-respect

[xxv] In the article making this claim, 2 out of 3 were skeptical.  Polloybook, for example, writes:

We practiced NFP (first CCL, then Creighton) for over a decade and did not find it [useful for] marriage building at all. I am always happy for those couples who do, but in our experience, they are the exception and not the rule.

  1. Johnson, representing the 1/3 who defended Paul VI writes this: “The Holy Roman Catholic Church had spoken. I prefer to listen to the wisdom of Christ’s Holy Church.” James Hope writes in response:

You can’t have a church without the people. But in any case, the point I was making was that if well-meaning and conscientious Catholics, having prayerfully considered the issue, come to a decision not to use NFP, despite knowing the church’s position, maybe they are speaking very clearly on the issue.

Then this followed:

Telling the truth about NFP doesn’t make it appealing to the average church[-]going Catholic, let alone to the general public. So lies were attempted instead. Unfortunately for the promoters of NFP, lies aren’t working too well either.

[xxvi] To examine the flaws in the single reported case study linking NFP with low divorce rates, go to https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/4650/does-natural-family-planning-decrease-divorce-rates

[xxvii] I have read an immense amount of literature regarding the various types of NFP.  In addition, my wife and I participated in a Pre-Cana Retreat that gave over 25% of it time to NFP.  Not once did I hear anything about the research that shows that wives find sex in marriage significantly less appealing than do their husbands men.  It is a known fact that most wives reach an orgasm far less often.  In such a climate, it does not amaze me that NFP experts would knowing omit the fact that organically and psychologically women are predisposed toward elevated sexual pleasure during the ovulation period.

[xxviii] Such plants, to be sure, could use the new high-tech measures that nearly eliminate sulfer dioxide and other airborn pollutants from their smoke stacks.  Carbon dioxide, on the other hand, is not a “toxic” byproduct of combustion but the normal effect of all burning.  What we now know is that as the carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere increase, less heat escapes to outer space and the net result is global warming.  As the atmospheric carbon dioxide goes above 350 parts per million, scientists have recorded the melting of the Artic ice sheets, rising sea levels, and an increase in weather patterns that produce flooding, wildfires, and heat waves. But who is speaking up for the planet earth and the limitations on the carbon dioxide levels that it can safely absorb? For this crime, we and our children’s children will suffer. . . .

[xxix] Here is one change that could be made soon.  When Pope Francis mandated that feedback should be solicited from Catholics in preparation for the Synod on the Family, this question was included: “Question 7 f. How can a more open attitude towards having children be fostered? How can an increase in births be promoted?” This enforces the “bigger is better” mentality that has infected Catholic family planning for the last hundred years.  In the future, when Humanae Vitae is reexamined and revised, I would expect a new question would be asked: “Question 7 f. How can an open attitude towards small families and childless couples be fostered? How can a decrease in births be promoted?”  [Pope Francis has since changed his mind regarding the “bigger is better” mentality.]

[xxx] A beloved friend who is twenty years younger than me confided to me that her father decided that his two sons had to have a college education.  Why so?  “They needed to prepare themselves to become bread-winners for their families.”  For his two girls, however, a college education was, to his way of thinking, “a waste to time and a waste of money because their purpose was to make babies and not to bring home a paycheck.”  This patriarchal mindset still exists in many places today.  See, for example, Emily Reimer-Barry, “Reasons Not to Send Your Daughter to College?” Catholic Moral Theology, 13 Sept 2013 (https://catholicmoraltheology.com/reasons-not-to-send-your-daughter-to-college-why-fix-the-family-is-broken/).

[xxxi] There is an art to making a good Slovenian wine.  My grandfather understood this art.  There is an art to making potica (a nut loaf particular to Slovenians).  My grandmother understood this art.  Someone who takes a vow never to drink wine or to enjoy a slice of potica can never be “an insider” who understands and appreciates the art of making Slovenian wines and poticas.  The same holds true for the art of love-making.  On outsider can never know what “an insider” knows.  And what “an insider” knows cannot be entirely said in words.  As Michael Polanyi frequently says, “We know more than we can tell.”

[xxxii] Fr. Kochuthara, The Concept of Sexual Pleasure in the Catholic Moral Tradition (Roma: Pontificia Università Gregoriana, 2007)

[xxxiii] I deliberately use a vulgar term here because I want to capture the vulgar sex that the men caught up in the patriarchal mindset imposed upon their wives.

[xxxiv] In the case of Cardinal Ratzinger, I depend upon the conversation during a plane ride to have revealed an important limitation.  Cardinal Ratzinger acknowledges that he was harassed in 1968 by gay students who broke up a faculty meeting as part of their campus-wide protest.  Ratzinger was 41 at the time.  Beyond this, he admitted that he was not aware of having any significant contact with homosexuals.  Such an admission is telling.

How marriage has changed over centuries

How marriage has changed over centuries

The Week Staff
Ron Royals/Corbis  June 1, 2012

Since the ancient world, marriage has evolved from a preservation of power to a personal contract between two equals seeking love, stability, and happiness.

Has marriage always had the same definition?
Actually, the institution has been in a process of constant evolution. Pair-bonding began in the Stone Age as a way of organizing and controlling sexual conduct and providing a stable structure for child-rearing and the tasks of daily life. But that basic concept has taken many forms across different cultures and eras. “Whenever people talk about traditional marriage or traditional families, historians throw up their hands,” said Steven Mintz, a history professor at Columbia University. “We say, ‘When and where?'” The ancient Hebrews, for instance, engaged in polygamy — according to the Bible, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines — and men have taken multiple wives in cultures throughout the world, including China, Africa, and among American Mormons in the 19th century. Polygamy is still common across much of the Muslim world.

The idea of marriage as a sexually exclusive, romantic union between one man and one woman is a relatively recent development. Until two centuries ago, said Harvard historian Nancy Cott, “monogamous households were a tiny, tiny portion” of the world population, found in “just Western Europe and little settlements in North America.”

When did people start marrying?
The first recorded evidence of marriage contracts and ceremonies dates to 4,000 years ago, in Mesopotamia. In the ancient world, marriage served primarily as a means of preserving power, with kings and other members of the ruling class marrying off daughters to forge alliances, acquire land, and produce legitimate heirs. Even in the lower classes, women had little say over whom they married. The purpose of marriage was the production of heirs, as implied by the Latin word matrimonium, which is derived from mater (mother).

When did the church get involved?
In ancient Rome, marriage was a civil affair governed by imperial law. But when the empire collapsed, in the 5th century, church courts took over and elevated marriage to a holy union. As the church’s power grew through the Middle Ages, so did its influence over marriage. In 1215, marriage was declared one of the church’s seven sacraments, alongside rites like baptism and penance. But it was only in the 16th century that the church decreed that weddings [need to] be performed in public, by a priest, and before witnesses.

What role did love play?
For most of human history, almost none at all. Marriage was considered too serious a matter to be based on such a fragile emotion. “If love could grow out of it, that was wonderful,” said Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, a History. “But that was gravy.”

In fact, love and marriage were once widely regarded as incompatible with one another. A Roman politician was expelled from the Senate in the 2nd century B.C. for kissing his wife in public — behavior the essayist Plutarch condemned as “disgraceful.” In the 12th and 13th centuries, the European aristocracy viewed extramarital affairs as the highest form of romance, untainted by the gritty realities of daily life. And as late as the 18th century, the French philosopher Montesquieu wrote that any man who was in love with his wife was probably too dull to be loved by another woman.

[In many societies, both ancient and modern, levirate marriage was practiced.   Among the Hebrews, a levirate marriage is literally a “marriage with a brother-in-law.” The word levirate, which has nothing to do with the tribe of Levi, comes from the Latin word levir, “a husband’s brother.” In ancient times, if a man died without a child, it was common for the man’s unmarried brother to marry the widow in order to provide an heir for the deceased. A widow would marry a brother-in-law, and the first son produced in that union was considered the legal descendant of her dead husband.

We see a couple of examples in the Bible of levirate marriage. The first is the story of Tamar and Onan in Genesis 38. Tamar had been married to Er, a son of Judah. Er died, leaving Tamar childless (Genesis 38:6–7). Judah’s solution was to follow the standard procedure of levirate marriage: he told Er’s brother Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother” (verse 8). Onan was more than willing to sleep with Tamar, but, unfortunately, he had no desire to have a child with her: “Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother” (verse 9). In other words, Onan was taking selfish advantage of levirate marriage. He wanted sex with his sister-in-law, but he purposefully avoided impregnating her. God called Onan’s actions “wicked” and killed him (verse 10).  Onan was also aware that, if Tamar became pregnant, her child would claim a portion in the family inheritance.  Thus, the inheritance coming to Onan would be diluted.

Levirate marriage became part of the Law in Deuteronomy 25:5–6. There, the Israelites are commanded to care for women whose husbands died before they had children. An unmarried brother of the deceased man bore a responsibility to marry his sister-in-law: God called it “the duty of a brother-in-law” (Deuteronomy 25:5). God’s purpose for levirate marriage is stated: “The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel” (verse 6). In ancient Israel the passing on of the family name and the inheritance within a tribe were vitally important (see Numbers 36:7 and 1 Kings 21:3).

Notice that levirate marriage was a match not born out of affection but out of duty.  Deut 25:7-10 illustrates this very well:

However, if a man does not want to marry his brother’s wife, she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to carry on his brother’s name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to me.” Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying, “I do not want to marry her,” his brother’s widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, “This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother’s family line.” 10 That man’s line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled.

The social pressure specified here was enormous.  The village elders, meanwhile, were intent upon providing for the widow from the resources of the family into which she married in the first place.  If that family failed to care for her out of obligation and if her parents were unwilling to allow her to return home, then the community had another charity case to attend to.

In India today, widows are often expelled from the family home and left to languish on the streets and alleyways.  This is done because the widow is held responsible (due to bad Karma) for the early death of her husband.  In older times, the widow threw herself on the burning funeral pyre thus eliminating any need to take care of her.  Today, along the shores of the Ganges River, communities of forsaken widows can be found.  The women here learn to chant sacred pujas and are given meager food and lodging in exchange for their prayers.  It is not a happy situation, to be sure.

Notice that levirate marriage allows for loveless unions and for polygamy.  Perhaps this explains why Jews have long ago abandoned levirate marriage,  and even the most devout Jews are not anxious for its return even though Deut 25:5 makes it clear that this is God’s will.  The existence of levirate marriage in Deut 25:5 also makes it clear that, when Gen 1-2 speaks of one-man-one-woman marriages, this does not mean that this precludes the mandating of one-man-two-women marriages in Deut 25:5.]

When did romance enter the picture?
In the 17th and 18th centuries, when Enlightenment thinkers pioneered the idea that life was about the pursuit of happiness. They advocated marrying for love rather than wealth or status. This trend was augmented by the Industrial Revolution and the growth of the middle class in the 19th century, which enabled young men to select a spouse and pay for a wedding, regardless of parental approval. As people took more control of their love lives, they began to demand the right to end unhappy unions. Divorce became much more commonplace.

Did marriage change in the 20th century?
Dramatically. For thousands of years, law and custom enforced the subordination of wives to husbands. But as the women’s-rights movement gained strength in the late 19th and 20th centuries, wives slowly began to insist on being regarded as their husbands’ equals, rather than their property. “By 1970,” said Marilyn Yalom, author of A History of the Wife, “marriage law had become gender-neutral in Western democracy.” At the same time, the rise of effective contraception fundamentally transformed marriage: Couples could choose how many children to have, and even to have no children at all. If they were unhappy with each other, they could divorce — and nearly half of all couples did. Marriage had become primarily a personal contract between two equals seeking love, stability, and happiness. This new definition opened the door to gays and lesbians claiming a right to be married, too. “We now fit under the Western philosophy of marriage,” said E.J. Graff, a lesbian and the author of What Is Marriage For? In one very real sense, Coontz says, opponents of gay marriage are correct when they say traditional marriage has been undermined. “But, for better and for worse, traditional marriage has already been destroyed,” she says, “and the process began long before anyone even dreamed of legalizing same-sex marriage.”

Gay ‘marriage’ in medieval Europe
Same-sex unions aren’t a recent invention. Until the 13th century, male-bonding ceremonies were common in churches across the Mediterranean. Apart from the couples’ gender, these events were almost indistinguishable from other marriages of the era. Twelfth-century liturgies for same-sex unions — also known as “spiritual brotherhoods” — included the recital of marriage prayers, the joining of hands at the altar, and a ceremonial kiss. Some historians believe these unions were merely a way to seal alliances and business deals. But Eric Berkowitz, author of Sex and Punishment, says it is “difficult to believe that these rituals did not contemplate erotic contact. In fact, it was the sex between the men involved that later caused same-sex unions to be banned.” That happened in 1306, when the Byzantine Emperor Andronicus II declared such ceremonies, along with sorcery and incest, to be unchristian.  (source)

Natural Law and Sexual Morality

Natural Law and Sexual Morality

by Chaplain Mike  27 May 2015

• • •
In light of the Irish vote to legalize same-sex marriage, a decision that has its Catholic leaders pondering what the future might hold, I thought we might discuss a few thoughts about traditional Christian teaching on sexuality, in particular the place of “natural law” in understanding sexual morality.
We traditional Christians tend to think our view of morality is a slam-dunk. That nature itself teaches clearly the purposes and goals for sexual relations, and that God’s revelation in the Bible and the Church’s Word and Spirit-prompted traditions are unequivocally compatible with those natural laws. As Peter Leithart writes at First Things: “Through the creation, human beings know the ordinance of God that there is a ‘natural function’ for sexuality.”

In Humane Vitae (1968), the monumental Catholic document about contemporary sexual morality, the Church teaches that moral sexual acts meet three criteria. They must be:
• Marital
• Unitive
• Procreative

As the Catechism says:

Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter—appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility. In a word it is a question of the normal characteristics of all natural conjugal love, but with a new significance which not only purifies and strengthens them, but raises them to the extent of making them the expression of specifically Christian values.

This makes sense to me. I count myself traditional when it comes to matters of sexual morality.

But I wonder if appealing to natural law is really the best way to make the traditional point. It seems to me that nature teaches us some things fundamental about biology and reproduction. Male and female bodies complement one another. Human beings reproduce by joining them together in sexual intercourse. If we bring our Creator into the discussion, we might say that God designed our bodies this way for this purpose — this biological, procreative purpose. . . .

I’m not convinced that nature teaches us that sex should be marital. Or that “marital” must involve only one man and one woman, joined together for life. It seems to me that we need more information than what we could get from observing the natural world to come up with that.

Gary Gutting, professor of philosophy at Notre Dame and editor of Notre Dame Philosophical Reviews, thinks the Church may have overplayed her hand with its emphasis on natural law teaching, especially in light of the contemporary debate on same-sex unions.
The problem is that, rightly developed, natural-law thinking seems to support rather than reject the morality of homosexual behavior.

Consider this line of thought from John Corvino, a philosopher at Wayne State University:

A gay relationship, like a straight relationship, can be a significant avenue of meaning, growth, and fulfillment. It can realize a variety of genuine human goods; it can bear good fruit. . . . [For both straight and gay couples,] sex is a powerful and unique way of building, celebrating, and replenishing intimacy.

The sort of relationship Corvino describes seems clearly one that would contribute to a couple’s fulfillment as human beings — whether the sex involved is hetero- or homosexual. Isn’t this just what it should mean to live in accord with human nature?

Noting that proponents also use natural law to show the immorality of birth control, masturbation and even non-reproductive sexual acts between heterosexuals, Gutting asks two questions:
First, why, even if non-reproductive sex were somehow less “natural” than reproductive, couldn’t it still play a positive role in a humanly fulfilling life of love between two people of the same sex?
Second, why must non-reproductive sex be only for the selfish pleasure of each partner, rather than, as Corvino put it, a way of building, celebrating, and replenishing their shared intimacy?

He is making the argument that the unitive and marital functions of sexuality can be fulfilled in relationships and through practices that are not necessarily procreative. The most conservative Catholic teachers disagree, and deny that any sexual act that leads to orgasm apart from intercourse is [il-] legitimate, even for heterosexual married couples. Yet we know that married couples continue their sexual relations long past childbearing years when no procreative purpose is in view, and find ways of pleasuring one another apart from intercourse alone. I suspect that those teachers don’t have a full appreciation of the significance of mutual pleasure in the sexual relationship.

As a traditionalist, if I were listing the essential elements of a “moral sexual act,” I would add “mutual pleasure” to marital, unitive, and procreative.

This “pleasure principle” is where a closer look at nature and human nature in particular might backfire on the traditional view. For example, because of the male anatomy, sexual intercourse is perfectly designed for male pleasure. This is not the case, however, with women. The anatomy of the female orgasm is focused on the clitoris, which is outside the vagina. The vast majority of women do not experience sexual climax through intercourse, but through direct stimulation of this external organ, and it’s entirely possible that those who do have orgasms during coitus have them because they receive indirect stimulation there. In other words, if sex is for mutual pleasure, then nature provided women with the wrong equipment to receive that pleasure through the procreative act alone.

It is not only nature, but the Bible itself that emphasizes the “mutual pleasure” significance of sex. In fact, one entire book of the Bible is devoted to it: The Song of Songs. This inspired, canonical work celebrates the unitive and mutual pleasure facets of love and sexuality with little emphasis on its marital aspects and no emphasis at all on its procreative possibilities. Maybe this book is one way God laughs at our little moral formulae.

Now, none of this is enough to persuade me to be anything other than the conservative person I am when it comes to sex, marriage, and family. And I have no agenda here of trying to persuade anyone else of anything. All this is simply to say that observations like these make me more cautious about thinking any case for a certain form of morality is strictly black and white, especially when based upon so-called “natural law” teaching.

This also makes me want to take much less of an “us vs. them” approach to talking about sexuality. The fact is, people who do not practice traditional morality may find great meaning, satisfaction, and deep bonds of love in their sexual relationships. For me to simply dismiss those people out there in “the world” as enslaved and bound by selfish desires, seeking their own pleasure at the expense of others, is not an honest portrayal of the people I observe every day. Loving my neighbor means I can learn from my neighbor, appreciate my neighbor, and see the image of God in him or her even though we hold different moral views.

I can maintain my moral beliefs and still confess that things can get a bit murky.

There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
For which I do not understand:
The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid.  (Proverbs 30:18-19, NASB)
=======================================
E.G. says:
May 27, 2015 at 12:24 am
Appeals to ‘natural law’ can really go awry.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_insemination

Robert F says:
May 27, 2015 at 5:34 am
I increasingly have a hard time putting any credence in any sexual morality that attempts to micromanage from outside what happens inside other people’s sexual lives. Such intrusion seems extremely unnatural to me, any way you cut it.

Miguel says [to Robert F]:
May 27, 2015 at 12:07 pm
Right? I mean, Jesus and all them had some important stuff to say about the topic and all, but I kind of appreciate how general and vague they tended to be. There’s a few things clearly over the line, and the rest is “love your neighbor.” ….just not in that way.

The Finn says:
May 27, 2015 at 6:03 am
> I count myself traditional when it comes to matters of sexual morality.
Same here
> I’m not convinced that nature teaches us that sex should be marital.
Agree. It does not seem nature has much interest in the matter.
> the Church may have overplayed her hand with its emphasis on natural law teaching
I agree. Natural Law upon analysis very often looks like “what we thought was ‘normal’ yesterday” more than it appears to be derivative of something from Nature. Nature is massive, you can find all kinds of things within it.
> All this is simply to say that observations like these make me more cautious about thinking any case for a certain form of morality is strictly black and white, especially when based upon so-called “natural law” teaching.
+1
> For me to simply dismiss those people out there in “the world” as enslaved and bound by selfish desires, seeking their own pleasure at the expense of others, is not an honest portrayal of the people I observe every day
Amen.
I know some really amazing people ‘of the world’; to accuse them of selfishness in their personal relationship would be unconscionable.

Henry Darger says:
May 28, 2015 at 6:16 am
Why does “traditional” Christianity always boil down to its most bigoted aspects? Whatever happened to love, the Golden Rule, etc.? On the subject of sex, the internet atheists are far more sensible and ethically grounded than this retrograde claptrap:

The Church Doesn’t Get to Make the Rules About Sex Anymore

Stephen says:
May 27, 2015 at 9:12 am
May I point out that a Church who privileges celibacy just might not be the best source of advice on human sexuality?  And we should probably note that the Church’s teachings on sexuality are one of the most often cited factors in the rise of the ‘Nones’?
I was reading an article recently on the so-called “Purity Ball” movement in some Conservative Christian groups where ceremonies are held in which daughters pledge their virginity until marriage to their Fathers. The article pointed out that polls show young girls who pledge their virginity are just as likely to have premarital sex as ones who do not. But there is a striking increase in the likelihood of sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies among the pledgers because they aren’t taught about contraception!

Chaplain Mike says:
May 27, 2015 at 5:08 pm
Earlier in the post I mentioned that the pleasure factor enhances unity, but I think it’s more than that, especially when viewed from the standpoint of what nature teaches. By nature, the sex act is pleasurable and since both partners are capable of orgasm, it is apparently designed for mutual pleasure. I think that traditional teaching has understated this for fear that an emphasis on pleasure will undercut moral responsibility. In my view that has had disastrous consequences. Neither nature nor the Bible is shy about the pleasure sex provides. If God made our bodies and the sexual process, he apparently designed them for pleasure as well as procreation, and in the case of females that doesn’t happen usually through intercourse. I thought that these were points worthy of making “mutual pleasure” a separate point.

Natural Law and Sexual Morality

Review

Kevin Kukla’s Klaptrap — Catholic Teaching on Sexuality Gone Beserk

by Dr. Aaron Milavec

Two years ago I discovered Kevin Kukla’s claptrap on his website, ProLife365.org.  At first, I was just annoyed.  Then I realized that Kevin represented an educated, upwardly mobile Catholic Fundamentalist who is intent upon upholding and defending the entire Vatican ideology regarding the sexual issues of our day.  Moreover, Kevin imagines himself to be a crusader bent upon bringing to young people the sure and unchanging truths of Catholic sexuality that even most priests are embarrassed to teach.  As a Catholic theologian who has trained future priests and lay ministers for 25 years, I have sought to fairly and systematically examine Kevin’s claims.  My findings are as follows. . . .

kkkcover800

Equally Blessed: We invite our bishops to include us LGBT Catholics

Equally Blessed: We invite our bishops to include us LGBT Catholics wholeheartedly in the World Meeting of Families

Jim Smith 25 Aug

There is an encounter in the Christian scriptures that has the power to take one’s breath away.

Jesus is invited to the home of a religious leader. A woman, an outcast and sinner, shows up too. Safe to say, she is not invited. In the scene, one of the most poignant in the Gospels, the woman positions herself close to Jesus, washes his feet with her tears (her tears!) and dries them with her hair. It is as if all the moments of this outcast’s life, her sufferings and joys and sins and successes, are collected and reconciled in those tears and given to Jesus in the form of love.

But the host is repulsed by this encounter. Jesus, by authority of his own pure love, invites him to honor her dignity and faith (Luke 7:36-50). We’re not told if the leader is changed by the encounter. Over 2,000 years later, we’re still not sure.

In just a few weeks, throngs of Catholics will enter the Vatican-sponsored World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia. These people will bring the same tears of love and faith brought to Jesus so many years ago. Fourteen families from our Equally Blessed coalition will be among them: parents of transgender or gay children who have been challenged over thousands of days and nights to love those kids unconditionally, who know viscerally what it means, in the words of the prophet Micah, “to act justly, love tenderly and walk humbly” in their parental roles; gay couples with children who live by the promise to raise those children “according to the love of Christ”; transgender, intersex and gay persons themselves who are coming through a fire of marginalized existence into the freedom of God’s beloved, finally knowing their “sin” is not who they are and whom they love, but what chases us all — greed, fear, hate, hubris.

These Catholics have much to bring to the table of the World Meeting of Families. We are not the enemy of the many bishops, including Philadelphia Archbishop Charles Chaput, and Pope Francis, who will also attend.

In fact, we are allies in the mission of the church to strengthen familial bonds, to unify the Body of Christ in her beautiful diversity, to bring Good News to the poor, to welcome the stranger and to bring hope to the brokenhearted. Our own hearts have been broken, sometimes by our own church, so we bring real experience to what Pope Francis has famously called “the field hospital” of the church.

We invite our bishops and our good pope to include us wholeheartedly in the “big tent” gathering of Catholic families in September. But if they don’t, we will still be in the room. Like that woman in the Gospel, we will be there with our tears of redemption and love to mingle with many other Catholics. No question about that.

The real question is, will there be voices in the background gasping and whispering? We hope not. We hope for outstretched arms from fellow sinners and saints, for we are all of us in our great diversity, one body.

[Jim Smith is the associate director of DignityUSA and a member of the Equally Blessed Coalition.]