Preparing for an ecstatic mutuality in sexual bonding

Dear Brother,

I expect you and Amy are having a good time preparing for your wedding.  I am looking forward to your wedding.

I want you and Amy to have a life-long sexual adventure that is infinity and beyond amazing!  So, even though you have not invited me, I am going to tell you what has been my own successful practice of amazing love-making and let you decide whether any of this applies to you and Amy.

#1 After the wedding, my wife and I spent an entire week alone.  We were sexually hungry for each other, and we wanted to give ourselves over to exchanging life-stories (What was the scariest moment in your life? Etc.) while naked together.  After each story exchange, we’d make love.  It was the most delicious week of my entire life.  For each meal, one of us would be blind-folded and the other would gently and carefully do the feeding.  After supper, we’d watch a favorite love movie.  My favorite was “Shakespeare in Love.” For my wife, Yimou Zhang’s “The Road Home.”  Then we’d make love again pretending we were the lovers in the film.  Sometimes, we never finished a film because we were so sexually excited that we would stop the film in order to do our role-playing.  At night, we slept together totally naked.  Generally we made love spontaneously in the middle of the night.

All in all, we made love five to eight times each day.  We kept a love journal that recorded the words, the feelings, the ecstasy of each new day.  We did not share our journals until our first anniversary.


#2 If you have not been sexually intimate already, I would suggest that you begin, already at this time, to pass through the stages of intimacy that will prepare you for an awesome sexual love life.  How so?

2a. I would strongly suggest that you would not plan to have sex with penetration on the night of your wedding.  Why so?  Because you will be unable to do so without anxiety and fear.  Because you will not be totally comfortable with touching each other.  Because you will not know what your partner needs to get bodily and spiritually aroused.

2b. For my wife and I, we spent six months discovering each other’s body, exchanging body massages, taking showers together, and sleeping together naked before we had our first orgasm.  You, given your special skills, could do this in one month.

2c. The practice of taking showers together was very satisfying and very important.  Our first shower together was in almost complete darkness.  Only a small candle was in the bathroom.  My Beloved decided when this would take place.  I wanted to give her the initiative and to tell her in the most graphic way possible, “I will never make love to you until you are entirely ready.”  The near-total darkness served to expand our sense of touch.  It also helped to overcome any shame that either of us might have felt with respect to being naked=vulnerable.  Here is what I wrote:

I turn on the tap and a generous flow of hot water shoots out of the shower head.  In a short time, the shower stall is filled with steam. I begin by letting my Beloved soak in the hot water and steam.  Then I cut the water and rub shampoo into her hair.  I overdo the shampoo so that there is plenty of soap suds left over to rub over her face and upper body.  There is no washcloth, so I use my strong hands to generously rub the soap into all the pores and crevices and to especially savor the soft roundness of her breasts and the firmness of her buttocks. Before I wash a new part of her body, I plant some kisses on that part first.  Her silent smile indicates that she likes this.

During all this time, my Beloved closes her eyes.  This helps her to relish the experience or to keep the soap from stinging her eyes.  Hearing her soft moans of delight inclines me to believe that the former option was true.  When I’m done, I turn on the hot water again and completely wash away all the soap.

Then it’s her turn to do me.  She follows my general pattern.  She turns off the hot spray and then generously shampoos my hair and begins to work down my body.  She is gentle where it is important to be gentle and rough where it is important to be rough.  When finished she soaks me and herself for five solid minutes in the spray of hot water and steam.  It’s lovely to be touched by her and, even more lovely, to be able to touch her body without any inhibitions.

Then we step out of the shower stall, and I grab a towel and rub her hair dry and then, with a fresh towel, I dry every part of her body, even the secret places between her toes.  She giggles when I recite “One little piggy went to market. . . .”  Then, with the two thin remaining towels, she dries my body with the same care and thoroughness that I gave her.

2d.  On the sixth day, we began sleeping together with pajamas.  It took a few nights to find a position where we could both fall asleep while touching.  We found that spooning each other (as shown in pic) worked best.  As the nights continued, we gradually moved toward sleeping naked.  We gave ourselves a period for sensual touching and for sensual kissing.  After three weeks, this included touching/massaging sex organs and kissing on the lips.


#3 Massage: After getting comfortable with nudity and touching, the time is ripe for exchanging massages. Go find a video, “How to give a massage,” on the internet.  <>  Giving and receiving a massage is very beneficial because it gives the opportunity to discover tickle spots and tender spots.  Be spontaneous.  Use hair brushes to gently scratch the skin.  Slap the skin with an open hand.   Kiss, lick, bite.  Give some safety words: red = stop; yellow = this makes me uncomfortable; green = Oh, I would like more of this.   These three feedback words will become useful to signal to your partner what you are experiencing.

Gradually give some attention to the sexual organs.  Explore various ways of touching.  Then go to kissing, licking, sucking.  Discover what gives your partner pleasure!  Gradually move toward sexual arousal and orgasm.  This is a very important phase.  Since your partner is inactive, you get to decide how and when to pleasure him/her.  The ideal would be to arrive at the point where Amy can have an orgasm using only Lionel’s fingers and lips.  Amie, meanwhile, can discover how to advance toward your sexual arousal.

This is a foundational life-long achievement.  Most couples rush into sex and, in so doing, their sexuality takes on fixed patterns wherein the initiation of sex play usually always begins with the more assertive member—usually the man.  This is not a very satisfying situation in the long run.

Shakira Funny GIF - Shakira Funny Erotic GIFsA sensitive man wants to experience the sexual tiger in his wife.  He wants her to be sympathetic and cooperative, but not all the time. He wants her to be fierce at times.

Here is the poem I wrote that captures this:

I am surely not like those other men
who like their women to be tamed.

I want to preserve your wild side
and to shiver at your incessant growls.

I want you to wrestle naked with me
and to unleash your unbounded fury.

I don’t want you to always be a gentle lover,
but to seize and ripe out my heart sometimes.

I want to bleed when you squeeze me
and pull me apart and suck my bones.

I want to heal only when you bind my wounds,
and anoint my body with your aromatic juices.

I want to cry with you and laugh with you once a day
and to make silly faces and tickle you on Saturdays.

I am surely not like those other men
who like their women to be tamed.


There is a second reason why I wanted to give my Beloved an orgasm every time before my own.  A woman normally approaches love-making more organically and slowly.  On most occasions, she requires 15-20 of playful give and take before her vaginal canal is fully lubricated with her sweet juices.  A man, meanwhile, can prepare himself for penetration in three to five minutes.  If he rushes into penetration, he loses out in two ways: (a) he leaves his partner behind and she is unable (after his ejaculation) to catch up; and (b) he never acquires the patience and excitement of allowing his penis to rise and fall, to rise and fall, to rise and fall, in such a way as to enable him, after a half-hour, to experience an explosive orgasm that causes his whole body from the top of his head to his toes to shudder in sexual ecstasy WITH his partner.

Soyalerios Rawr GIF - Soyalerios Rawr Sexy GIFsWhen I, as a man, have guaranteed my Beloved the time and care to become a sexual tiger, she rewards me by arousing me WAY BEYOND MY EXPECTATIONS.


The rest of this is borrowed from another website.

Understand and always remember that sex is an act to be enjoyed. So I always take time to arouse her. I understand that penetration is just one of the sexual acts. There are many other exciting things that can be done to make her climax back-to-back. This is my way of doing it. This is the way I have always used. So it definitely works. In most of the situations, if used effectively & with imagination, your woman will surely have at least 3 or 4 pre-penetration orgasms and then she can have few more with penetration. The great thing about this way is that this will give her so many orgasms even before the act of penetration.

For me, being a man, female orgasm is as important as my own orgasm if not more. Also it makes my beloved so wild that she would return the pleasure in all the wild ways, without me asking for it. So I take penetration as just a final technique to give my beloved her final orgasm and I always use this outline that works for me every time.

#1 Start Arousing Her Mind & Having Foreplay with her

Start arousing her Mind even before you meet. Build the thrill. The more thrilled she is, the easier it is to give her multiple orgasms. Below texts are to let your imagination go wild –

“I have got something planned for later, and I think you will like it” “I don’t like sitting in office, when I could be doing things with you”, “I had the wildest dream last night”, ” Why can’t I just be lying beside you in bed instead of studying/working… 🙁”, “if I were there with you, I would have….” (this works like charm)

#2 Foreplay is super crucial.

Kiss Make Out GIF - Kiss Make Out Make Love GIFsMake out with her so good that she feels like a gorgeous princess.  Being a man you have to communicate how much you CRAVE every inch of her body by your hungry actions. Body language should clearly communicate your craving for her. Never let her relax from this moment onwards.  Be really really hungry for her, and make it absolutely clear to her how much you crave to be intimate with her.

#3 Take it slow.  Build the mutual craving.

Lips Touch GIF - Lips Touch Ttaa GIFsMake out with her. Take time. Take it slow. Build the energy. Build the craving. Build the sexual tension. Use sounds, touches, squeezes, words till she disengages and tells you “Let’s go to my car”, “let’s go to your room” or “Let’s go to some place quiet”

#4 Undress her gradually.

As you undress her gradually, keep licking & kissing the skin that gets revealed as you peal away her clothing.  Allow her to do the same for you (if this is her desire).

#5 Start with kissing, licking, nibbling her ears.

Couple Passionate GIF - Couple Passionate Romantic GIFs

#6 Suck on her nipples.

#7 Lick her stomach. Lick around her navel.


[When you begin licking between her legs, go ever so slowly when your tongue reaches out and touches her clitoris for the first time.  Be ready.  Her whole body might jump at the first contact.  If it does,  go down a few centimeters,  wet your tongue, and begin approaching more slowly.  Do this until she is totally comfortable with the pleasure she feels when your tongue plays with her clitoris.  This will work magic for her.  She will imagine you making slow contact with her clitoris a dozen times each day.  Her imagination will get her own juices flowing.  And every part of her body will be feeling an infinite gratitude for you as “the one and only man who knows how to make love to me down to the core of my being.”]

Lick and suck her pussy and clit & Give her first few orgasms with your tongue and sucking her clitoris.

And you will soon feel her squirm, twitch, moan, arch her back and fall back as you artfully bring her to the edge of her first orgasm.  Hold her hand.   Guide her slowly over the edge.   Read her bodily signals.  After she climaxes, reassure her that “Oh, I love the way your body responds to me.  But, this is just the beginning of our journey together.  My love for you is boundless. ”

If needed, you may need to pin her on the bed to keep her still.  [Keep in mind that you may be the first person who brings her such deep and loving pleasure with just your tongue.]  If needed, use some force to prevent her from pushing you away.  [Remember that she’s pushing you away because her pleasure is so new, so intense, so ecstatic.  If your Beloved is disorientated or afraid of this experience, go back to holding her and kissing her and ask her very quietly, “Help me understand what you have been feeling as I make love to you.”]

On the other hand, she might push your head onto her pussy, then trust me she really enjoys what you are doing and all you have to do is to continue doing that and soon she will have amazing back-to-back orgasms.   If this happens, then proceed to #8.  If it does not happen,  then hold her, kiss her, and reassure her that “the journey to mutual sexual enjoyment will come gradually and progressively.”

#8 Finger-Feel Her Sweetly

She deserves this as she will be super wet already with all the licking she’s received and, when she is totally comfortable with you,  then she will be so excited to give herself to you and to trust you completely and to have orgasmed a few times already.

Make sure you have neat manicured fingers and trimmed nails till the flesh of your finger is above the nail line. Feel her lips gently. Move your fingers along the edges of her lips

Once she starts to ooze so good, Insert one finger slowly and gently into her vagina [as shown in the pic above]. Curve it up with palm upward and feel for the soft, furry roof 3-5 cm. inside her vagina.  [This is the G-spot.] Take your time. Always be alert to her reactions. Now start moving the fingers as if you are calling someone near. Use one finger, then if she is comfortable use 2 fingers.

As you pick up your fingering pace, she might have a few more orgasms there and might even squirt.   If not, go  back to licking her lower lips and clitoris, to give her more pleasure while gently rubbing her G-spot as well.  This works like magic to bring her progressively toward convulsing orgasms.

#9 Tickle her G-spot until she orgasms a few more times.

Continue Fingering her fast till she chums again and even squirts. Feel her arch up, squelch, scream, shiver, shake and even squirt her juices. Watch her reactions before she cums and better still before she squirts. If your position allows reach out, lean and suck her nipples and bite her neck. See how it is done.

[Very few men and even fewer women have had any experience with squirting.  At first, one might be inclined to think that this is a form of peeing.  It isn’t.  When you have your first experience, you’ll see that the water in squirting has no odor and it is completely sterile; hence, you can rub your face in it and even drink it.  Needless to say, if one or both partners think “squirting” is peeing, then they will be ashamed and want to prevent it.   So, it’s best not to even think of squirting during the early phase of love-making.  If it happens, welcome it!  It is part of the natural release that comes with intense and prolonged love-making.  Hence, don’t make the mistake of trying to produce it.  It will come slowly and naturally. ]

#10  Now you’re ready to introduce your penis.

[Here is something that I have never done myself, namely, to allow my Beloved to make love to me and to bring my penis into play as she sees fit.  Just as I have used steps #1 to #9 by way of giving priority to the sexual satisfaction of my Beloved, it seems fitting to allow my Beloved to take charge of when and how she wishes to make love to me.  This is the magic step that none of the sex manuals promote.  I, on the other hand, would not want to imagine myself as doing anything but this.  I want to be conquered by my tiger!]

[Once your Beloved trusts you completely.  Once she knows that her pleasure comes first.  Then she will step out of the shadows from time to time and become the fierce tiger that takes over and gives direction to your sex life.  Look out!  This is the moment that you have been waiting for.  No need for me to even try to describe it, because every tiger has her own time and her own magic powers.  Get ready to be overwhelmed!  But don’t ever make the mistake of asking about this.  Let it come when she’s ready to make it come.]










Go for it, Brother!  Let her become your Tiger!  Get ready to celebrate an infinity of Love together.  Surprise her and surprise yourself.